


A Simpler Time

by AkiraRokkiDan



Category: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, Canon Compliant, Domestic, Drama, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Family Issues, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Happy, Honestly it's a lot of things, Humor, Pre-Canon, Sad, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love, Silly, family life, perhaps a little bit of drama and angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 16:52:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 36,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12136884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkiraRokkiDan/pseuds/AkiraRokkiDan
Summary: A series of short pieces concerning the relationship between Tomoe and Enishi before Remembrance. A mix of fluff and serious stuff. Tomoe POV. Canon Compliant?





	1. Celebration

**Author's Note:**

> OK, so for those of you may have forgotten the story behind these particular knuckleheads: Tomoe and Enishi are siblings...BUT, because their mother died after giving birth to Enishi (the younger one, by about 10 or so years), Tomoe took care of Enishi in her place and became both a sister and a mother to Enishi, but mostly a mother from the looks of it. I think it's a bit hard to pin down the extent of his feelings for her, but they are very intense. 
> 
> Imagining Tomoe and Enishi being domestic makes me feel giddy, plus I wanted to do something different because I feel their relationship is underexplored in fanfiction and especially the main series (kinda understandable on that front though, you only have so much time and all...and the series would rather focus on Kenshin and the battles). Just brotherly/sisterly love here by the way...to anyone who ships them: ...no.
> 
> We know very little about their lives during that time, so I’ve had to fill in many of the blanks. The three of them supposedly lead a very peaceful life in Edo, so I'm trying to reflect that somewhat. I do make mention of their dad but I don’t really include him in the fics, it’s mostly just Tomoe, Enishi and occasionally Akira (and I do mean occasionally). Also, there's no real chronology here, one chapter Enishi may be eight and in the next, he might be six. You get the idea. It's fun and calming imagining their lives during that time.
> 
> If you're expecting depictions of every aspect of their lives, I'm sorry. This is a series focusing on the relationship between Tomoe and Enishi. Each piece usually only star those two characters, at least in any significant way. 
> 
> Some things you might want to know: According to Kenshin Kaden, Tomoe was born in September 1846 and Enishi was born in May 1855. As of Remembrance, that would make Tomoe 17/18 and Enishi 8/9 (good lord that's young). That would make him 12 by the time of Toba-Fushimi and his arrival in Shanghai and 23 by the time of the Jinchuu arc when he begins his plans. 
> 
> By the way, if you want to read more like this, I'd recommend reading 'A Moment's Memory' on ff.net. Unfortunatley, it's unfinished and will probably remain that way, but it's really good! It greatly builds on the relationships between Tomoe, Enishi, their father and Kiyosato Akira. 
> 
> I wouldn't recommend reading this unless you've already read the Jinchuu arc or watched the Trust and Betrayal OVA (literally you would have no fucking idea whose these characters are if you haven't at least watched the OVA lmao).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A special occasion for a special someone

**Celebration:**

“Psst, sis! Sis! Come on sis, wake up already!”

Tomoe was still drifting somewhere between sleep and consciousness as she heard these whispers. She had tucked herself tightly into the futon, the quilts travelled up to her neck and shoulders. The voice was rocking against her as it spoke, it was giddy and excited.

“Mmm.” Was all she could muster.

 _Oh, Buddha, gods, or whatever, can I please just sleep? The futon is so warm and comfy right now_. She sighed.  _But that voice sounds so familiar...uh...._

“Sis, wake up!” The light voice became much clearer as the object of her awakening was now softly nudging her, “Come on, sleepyhead!” Tomoe’s eyelids slowly retreated and her senses sharpened whilst taking everything in. It was a bright, lovely morning as the sun’s beams filled the room. She brought up her hands to rub her eyes as they adjusted to this heavenly morning, little droplets of light invaded the room as her ears picked up on the playful dance of the early morning birds. Tomoe thought she could smell breakfast, but the scent of food was subtle. She now sat upright in the futon, folding over her quilt and exposing her upper body wrapped in a sleeping yukata. She released a tired yawn, as she extended her arms out to stretch. There was someone in the corner of her eye, kneeling and unapologetically beaming at her.

“Oh...Enishi...” her face turned to meet him and she improved her composure to sit tidily; her cheeks flushed while Enishi playfully and childishly giggled at her reaction, “I’m sorry. Good morning, how are-.”

“Happy birthday, sis!” Enishi joyfully exclaimed. At first, Tomoe was surprised, how could she forget that it was her own birthday today? It was probably just the low blood pressure. She noticed that Enishi was now nuzzling against her arm, well her brother sure was clingy. But she didn’t mind. Tomoe realized that the shoji was still open as the cool morning breeze filled the room, it danced upon her loose strands of raven-black hair.

 _Oh, this is wonderful_  Tomoe thought as she released her arm from Enishi’s grasp. At first, his face pulled the cutest pout, but his expression promptly improved when she lazily brought both of hers square on his shoulders instead.

“Hmm…um, thank you, Enishi.”

He scratched the back of his head nervously as he laughed. “Well...someone needed to wake you up.”

“Wait a minute," she interrupted, "how late is it? Is Dad awake.?” Her eyes had a slight strain of sleep in them, but an uneasy feeling dominated her stomach.

“You overslept! Dad’s not here but it’s all okay, he understands. He told me to wake you up before he left.” It took Tomoe up until now to realize that next to where Enishi was kneeling previously was a box.

“Enishi, don’t tell me that’s…”

“Oh, this?" He swivelled around and knelt over to reach for the container. Enishi scooped it his hands and turned back around, offering it to his big sister.

"Is that...?"

“Yes, it’s for you! Come on, open it!”

Tomoe was overwhelmed as she stared at the box, she didn’t really know what to say. The box itself looked huge in Enishi’s hands, it made her want to laugh. This was the first time Enishi had given her a present for her birthday, previous years all he could do was cuddle her in the futon for a little while and feed her tea and cakes. Then Tomoe had remembered, this year dad began giving her brother monthly allowances, mostly for doing chores around the house. Her brother and her father must have snuck out to town while she was busy or doing something else...perhaps when she visited one of her friends.

“Enishi...did...did  _you_  buy this?”

“Uh...yea. I’ve been saving up. Come on sis, open it!”

In response, she hummed out of amusement whilst taking the box from her brother's hands, making sure to pat the top of his head, which garnered a warm grim from him. Savouring the moment, she took a deep breath and slowly removed the lid. What was in the box made cheeks turn bright red as her eyes began to water.

“Enishi...” Tomoe gasped while revealing the hidden contents of the box to the world. In her soft hand was a small bottle, filled with a clear liquid. Tomoe instantly knew what it was: it was her favourite perfume. White Plum. From the looks the bottle alone, this perfume was perhaps more expensive than the one she usually wore, but it was still White Plum. Everyone she was close to associated its scent with her in some way, it was inescapable.

Tomoe blinked. “I…”

The smile disappeared from her brother's face as he tilted his head from the side somewhat. “Um...do you not like it?”

"It's..." she bent forward and rewarded him with a soft kiss on his forehead, “it’s lovely, thank you so much.”

She noticed the smile returning to him whilst he leaned into her touch, flinching slightly to the sigh of relief he let out. “Anything for my big sister.”

 _He looks so pleased with himself_ , she thought.

“Are you hungry?” She calmly asked.

“Oh, I’ve already eaten...um...what about you?”

“Hmm? Oh...a bit.”

“Then wait there, sis! I’ll get you something nice!” He jumped to his feet and ran out of her room, his destination was the kitchen. Tomoe rarely had anything cooked for her, let alone breakfast, so she appreciated the gesture. He soon came back with the most charming grin on his face, holding a platter with tea and one of her most loved dishes: miso soup, with  _fish_.

She _wanted_ to salivate. Such a thing as good miso soup could bring her so much joy. Tomoe looked up at her brother, her silly, giddy brother.

"Your favourite!"

“…You cooked breakfast for me?”

“What? No! It was Dad who made breakfast...but um, I helped him. Come on, eat!”

He set the bowl by her bedside, watching her as she reached for the chopsticks and the bowl. Tomoe gave thanks for the food and then began to eat. The daikon had been sliced as thinly as she liked them. The soup was refreshing and seasoned to perfection. And the fish,  _oh the fish_. It was incredibly warm and smooth, it practically melted in her mouth. W _here did he learn to cook like this?_  Tomoe sharply registered the stupidity of her thoughts, she remembered  _who_ exactly taught him.  _Oh, right. Well, he’s learned well._

Enishi observed as she slowly ate her breakfast, prepared the way  _she_ liked it, as she alternated between the soup and the tea. Enishi noted how she relished every bite, chew, and gulp. How she periodically licked her lips of any leftover soup. How she ever-so-slightly grinned in satisfaction between servings. The bowl and cup were finally emptied of its contents and his face brightened with delight as Tomoe rubbed her hand over her stomach.

“Oh, that was delicious…thank you for all of this. Oh, if only Dad hadn't left already, I'll have to wait until the evening to thank him. ”

“I’m glad you liked it...and I think he knows how grateful you are.”

Tomoe’s sealed lips raised slightly as her mind hatched a brilliant idea. “…Come over here.”

She shifted in the futon to make room for her brother, tapping the empty space in suggestion. Enishi rolled over to and cuddled with his older sister, laying his head down on the pillow. He made her grin childishly as she pulled him in and brought the quilt around them both. Akira wasn’t supposed to be coming over until past noon, so she figured she could spend the next few hours doing nothing at all. It was her birthday, after all. Tomoe’s wandering arms eventually wrapped themselves around his back. He was breathing softly against her as he closed his eyes, as Tomoe held him close and decided to comb her fingers through his hair. It was a very lovely morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh...if I had to put an age on Enishi here...six? That would make Tomoe fifteen here, I think. I won't specify their age all the time though, so you can make up your own mind about it.


	2. Sweets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because good work deserves a good reward.

**Sweets:**

 Enishi had been so good lately, Tomoe thought. He had done all his chores without any hesitation and then some: He cleaned the rooms around the house every day. He changed all the sheets for the past few weeks without fail. He helped with the laundry, practically halving the work pile. He even cooked meals with his big sister, fulfilling the all-important role of making sure everything was prepared to perfection. Enishi’s help recently really lightened the load, his sister actually had time to relax. Tomoe was proud of her little brother, more than she could put into words. And she thought that good work deserved a good reward.

Earlier, she had slipped into town whilst Enishi was taking one of his infamous long baths. They lived relatively close to the market so she wouldn’t be missed. She wanted to show how much she appreciated all his efforts these past few weeks. Tomoe had found the nicest little stall in the shopping district, one which sold a huge variety of sweets. While the Yukishiro family had enough money to comfortably live, they preferred not to spend money on such luxuries. While Tomoe thought that this was fair, she couldn’t deny the small bit of guilt over the fact that Enishi barely got to have any. Perhaps it was just her motherly urges kicking in, but she truly wanted her little brother to enjoy his childhood while he still had it, therefore the money had come out of her own allowance. Tomoe knew what Enishi loved most: Chestnut sweets. Enishi didn’t get to eat sweets often, but he adored those. She bought a weighty bag of chestnut sweets, just for him.

She darted from room to room trying to find her little brother, it had been a couple of hours since dinner and the moon would rise soon. She eventually found him in the sitting room, reading a weighty tome.

“Oh, there you are,” Tomoe said after exhaling deeply, “what are you reading?”

Enishi hastily turned his head to see his big sister, his eyes were filled with adoration as always while he opened his mouth, “Oh, uh...nothing much. Just one of those boring books my teacher makes me read.”

Ah yes, the one thing children rarely liked to do at his age: Learn. She had skimmed through some of the books he was forced to read every now and then, and even she had to admit that they were utterly  _boring_. Maddening so. She shook her head, not willing to admit this lest she was a bad influence.

“Well, it’s nice to see you reading nonetheless.”

“What do you need, sis? Is...something wrong?”

“Oh, no, nothing like that,” his big sister’s soft exclamation was definite but somehow reassuring, “nothing’s wrong. Just…meet me outside on the porch in a few minutes. Don’t rush.”

Tomoe had already been settled onto the engawa overlooking the greenery for a while by the time Enishi had joined her. They were both dressed in yukata as they had no plans to leave the house for the rest of the day. Half of the sun had disappeared under the earth, leaving its talons of light to spread out amongst the cosmos. Enishi placed himself next to his sister as he settled next to a support beam.

“Look at the sky, sis! It’s beautiful! Ohhhh, if only I could fly up there, it'd be amazing...” The way in which Enishi could be easily amused always was charming to Tomoe.

“Mmm…it is beautiful, isn't it?.” She came off as apathetic but she still made her little brother smile. Enishi continued to aimlessly gaze at the dark canvas above them, the clouds were illuminated by the evening light and the red rays ascended into an indescribable bleakness.

“Can we stay out here to see the stars?”

“Of course, but it’ll get cold...so we can’t stay out here too long.” Lost in the moment, Tomoe had completely forgotten that this wasn’t about stargazing. She reached for the bag beside her and lifted it, subtly waving it. At first, he was too enamoured with the sky to realise, but he eventually noticed the bag of treats in her hand.

“What’s that, sis?”

“A present, Enishi.”

“A...a present?” His eyebrow was raised as an expression of puzzlement occupied his face.

“Yes. You’ve been so good lately. I just wanted to express how grateful I am to have such a good brother, that's all.”

Enishi was awestruck as he looked at his older sister in disbelief, perhaps he never considered that his hard work would get rewarded. Nevertheless, she was somewhat pleased by the how his face lit up and his eyes beamed with delight. She put the bag on his lap, watching him open it to find a collection of his favourite candy. He emitted an excited grunt, but something was holding him back from tucking in.

“…Share them with me, sister!”

“Huh...what?” In a rare showcase of genuine amusement, she allowed herself to chuckle at his proposition. She covered her mouth slightly as her colour went to her cheeks. “They're yours, you silly boy!”

“I can’t have these all to myself…plus I don’t want you to be missing out…” Enishi seemed much more serious now. Did he really not mind?

“Enishi…” Tomoe cleared her throat, “you don’t have to share them. I got them for you and you alone, for being so good. It’s okay.”

“Please?” His whole body turned to face her now. “I want to share them with you.”

“Oh…alright, then. It's clear you wont accept no for an answer.” She wasn’t the one to argue, especially when he was so adamant about this. Tomoe didn’t often get a chance to eat sweets either, so she gracefully accepted his offer. He placed the bag between them as she stated, “You go first.”

Enishi reached into the bag and pulled out one of the chestnut sweets and put it in his mouth. “They’re good, sis! Have one!”

Tomoe put her own hand into the bag of treats and took grasp of one of them, she raised her hand and took in its scent while slowly putting it in her mouth. _Oh, this tastes so good_ she thought to herself as she savoured its sweet flavour.

The two of them alternated between reaching into the bag for those sweet chestnuts. Their hands occasionally brushed against each other as they worked together to empty it of all its delicious contents. The siblings never took their eyes from the fading sky, the canvas got bleaker and bright lights in the sky began to materialise before their very eyes. The distant sound of nightlife was drowned out by their own activities and eventually, all the sweets were gone, sitting in the stomachs of both brother and sister. They both hummed in an incredibly satisfied manner as they turned to look at each other again.

“Thank you, sister.”

“You’re welcome. Thank you for sharing.”

The sky was covered in a curtain of darkness, the stars twinkled and gleamed in the night sky. Tomoe and Enishi looked upon the clear canvas above them, admiring the white gleams patterned across it. She eventually looked over to Enishi, who was visibly shaking.

“Are you cold?” Tomoe asked, rubbing his shoulder gently.

“A little...” His teeth shuddered.

“Let’s go inside and get something warm to drink.” Enishi nodded, Tomoe dropped her arm and interlocked his hand with hers, they both stood up and entered the warmth of the house.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When writing this story, I imagined Enishi being about seven.


	3. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you do when you can't sleep?

**Nightmare:**

Tomoe couldn’t get to sleep. No matter how much tossing and turning and repositioning she did in the futon, she just could  _not_  be taken away to the land of dreams. Eventually, she figured that her efforts were futile and stopped forcing herself to rest. The room was pitch black, and she couldn’t be bothered to light a lantern, so she just laid in bed doing nothing. The night was extremely quiet, no gales were dancing in the sky tonight. It was a cool winter night; she still felt chilled to the bone.

In some contrived method to soothe herself, Tomoe cast her mind back to a couple of days ago. Akira came over to visit, he brought flowers and it was  _so_  romantic. He and Enishi made dinner together (well...it was mostly Akira, but Enishi tried as hard as he could at his age), they were adamant that she should relax and let them treat her  _just this once._  She remembered the constant yells coming from the kitchen as the two of them argued over the intricacies of cooking. To them, it probably wasn’t very funny, but it was to her. Thankfully, they put the ship back on track, and the result was a rather delicious meal made all the sweeter with the knowledge that both her sweetheart and her brother had done all this done this for  _her_. Enishi accidentally spilt hot tea all over himself, which made his brother-figure giggle lightly on her shoulder. Enishi was  _furious._ He leapt from his position and pulled his hair, screaming ‘STUPID AKIRA-SAMA’ repeatedly. Tomoe had to intervene and stop her little brother from wreaking havoc. Enishi eventually calmed down, but not before poking his tongue out to her sweetheart. Then-

_Wait a minute, is someone outside?_

She could hear the faintest tapping outside, it was almost silent but her ears still picked it up. Her suspicions were only confirmed when something lightly knocked against the shoji. She sat upright and turned to face the door.

“Uhh…who is it? Is someone there” Her voice leaked with nerve. They’ve never been robbed or anything of the sorts, but there’s a first time for everything. 

“Uh…it’s just me, sis,” the presence replied with a hushed and seemingly scared tone, the faint tapping made sense now, "do you think that...I could come in?"

“Oh, it's just you...of course you can come in.” At her response, the shoji slowly slid open as a shadowed figure entered the room, Tomoe couldn’t make it out very well but she didn’t need to see to know that it was Enishi.  _This is odd_ , Tomoe thought to herself,  _he’s never really done this before. Is he Okay?_ She saw now that the shadowed presence was right next to her, kneeling by the futon. 

“Sorry...um...did I wake you up...?”

“Not really, I’ve been awake for a while. Problems sleeping...” she presumed to focus on the issue at hand, “Enishi, are you...alright?” Tomoe asked in a concerned tone. The shadowed figure shook his head.

“Uh...no…I’m scared, I saw…bad people, they were trying to get us. We ran but they always followed. They cornered us and they…sis, I’m scared…” Enishi was on the verge of tears. His sister frowned and leaned over to him.

“Ah,” she reached forward to grasp his cheek lightly, “so you had a nightmare?”

He nodded in response. "Mhm..."

“Don’t worry, it was just a dream, it wasn’t real. You’re _safe_. Don't cry now.” She could feel a wet line on his cheek. He raised his own hand to clasp hers tenderly as he continued to sniffle. 

“Can I…uh...can I stay here, please? I don’t want to go back now, the dark kinda scares me.”

At first, Tomoe didn’t know what to say. Enishi was always emotional, especially over his sister, but he had really never gotten this agitated by a bad dream before. _How bad was that dream?_ She remembered all the times her own mother would help her sleep when she had nightmares and felt sorry for her little brother. Tomoe inferred that he needed the comfort of someone close to him, nothing could quite soothe the heart like the support of a loved one. And Tomoe didn’t believe that she’d lose any sleep over his idea. Additionally, she picked up on how her brother shivered in the darkness, he was just a cold as his sister. She figured that the sharing of bodily warmth could help them get to sleep.

She thought no harm could come out of this.

“Yes...I suppose it's alright. Hold on a minute.” Then, she shifted slightly as to allow room for her brother. Almost reluctantly, her brother knelt and rolled onto the space of futon where she was previously, back facing her. She quickly brought the quilt over them before she wrapped her arms around him in protection, both of their heads fitted neatly on the pillow. His spiky strands brushed against her. “Are you comfortable? I don't really know what my futon is like compared to yours, so...”

“Uhh...um, it’s really comfy. Thanks, sis.” He was incredibly hushed.

“It’s alright.” She held him a bit tighter at his response; cuddling could go a long way to calm someone, she figured. Her breathing bounced off the top of his head as his own breaths steadied. Enishi was warm against her in that indescribably comforting way, she actually relished it slightly. Tomoe hummed and placed a kiss on the hair standing just above his neck. “You know, you’re quite warm and cosy, Enishi. It’s quite nice.” She whispered.

“You really mean that?” His voice was even quieter than before, terribly hushed. 

“Mhm.” 

“Well...uh...you’re really warm and snug too. I feel a lot better now. Thanks.”

"Oh, it's no problem." 

"Hey...don't tell anyone about this, sis...please?" By this point, his quiet dispelling of tears had stopped. Though Tomoe couldn't see it, her brother blushed.

"You're embarrassed?"

"Uh..." He nodded.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I promise."

"Thanks, sis...you really are the best."

Tomoe thought it best to shift the conversation to something lighter, she guessed it would help Enishi get to sleep. “Is there anything, in particular, you want for breakfast in the morning?”

“No, I’m happy with whatever you have in mind.”

“Oh, okay. So I'll make some soup.”

Enishi released a quiet giggle at her response. "You love soup, don't you?"

"Mmm," she paused, “...by the way, did you want to go out to the market tomorrow? We can get some good tea and cakes as well.”

“…Yea. I’d like that,” he replied, his tone croaky, “though…do you think we could go to the noodle stand instead?”

“Mhm,” she used her hand to make waves in his hair, “we can go to the noodle stand. We can go anywhere you want, it'll be a long day.”

“The sake stand?” He inquired jokingly.

Tomoe tutted. “Anywhere  _but_  the sake shop. You're not old enough yet, _and don't let father tell you otherwise_."

“Awww, you’re no fun.” Enishi let out a bombastic yawn. “Thanks, sis. It's...going to be fun, right?”

“Hopefully...we’ll find something nice for you there as well.”

“Like what?"

"Whatever you want, Enishi...provided it's not expensive." 

"W-wait, don’t leave yourself out...we need to find you something too,” he lazily flipped over to face his sister, but he didn't look at her directly, "it wouldn't be fair on you."

“Mm, don’t worry,” his breath against her yukata tickled, “there's nothing I want, anyway.”

“Huh…really...?” He asked lethargically whilst yawning.

“Mhm.” Both of them were now completely still. She stopped combing her fingers through his hair and once again brought her arm around her brother. 

"Do we...have enough money...?"

There were long gaps in his speech. 

"Don't worry about that. We should have enough for just tomorrow."

"Oh...okay."

She changed the conversation yet again. Her attempts seemed to be working, Enishi sounded drowsier and drowsier by the minute. Nothing felt better than a plan coming to fruition!

"Spring starts soon...I was thinking that we should have a picnic. Would you like that, Enishi?"

"Yeaa...that would be real...fun..."

"We'll make plenty of food and go to our favourite tree. What do you think?"

"Sounds...nice."

"If father isn't too busy, we can ask him to come along...I'll definitely invite Akira though..."

There was no response. She was sure that would garner a response from her brother.

“…Enishi?” She moved her head slightly to check him and promptly discovered that her brother was now sleeping peacefully; his low and steady breathing dominated the space they inhabited and his lips were parted ever-so-lightly.  _He looks so calm._  Tomoe carefully shifted and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“Sweet dreams.”

"Mgh." He muttered.

She held her smaller sibling a little closer now. Her eyes slowly closed and she quickly found herself in a pleasant slumber, both brother and sister felt utterly warm and safe in each other's arms. It was wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm...I do wonder about the types of nightmare Enishi would have after Tomoe's death. Probably a lot of varying subject matter, all revolving around his own warped psychosis following the witnessing of her death. It's pretty fucked.
> 
> I'd say Enishi is seven or eight here.


	4. Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter can bring the best gifts.

**Snow:**

“Good morning, Enishi.” She was gently nudging her little brother while he slept, the quilt of the futon went over his head as he laid on his side. It had been getting chilly recently, and Enishi never dealt with the cold well.

"Mmmn." Her brother let out a tired groan as her physical intrusions brought him out of the world of sleep. He turned slowly to see his older sister, already dressed in a bright purple kimono. “…Hi there, sister. You alright?” Enishi’s his speech was croaky, it was stiff with sleep.

“Mhm.” She allowed him some time to sit upright and adjust to the freezing morning, “Sleep well?” Enishi nodded while placing his hand over his mouth, covering an exhausted yawn.

“Wow…it’s really cold, sister.” Her brother remarked. The quilt of the futon was lower, so he began to visibly shake. Meanwhile, Tomoe had prepared for this and had adorned herself with her favourite purple shawl. 

“Well, there's always breakfast. You'd like a nice warm breakfast, right?”

“Yea...that’d be nice.”

“Ah, good. But first, come outside. There’s something I want to show you.”

"Huh?"

She extended her hand out to her brother invitingly and he reciprocated her motion, her hand was warm to the touch.  They both rose from the chilly floor and headed for the shoji just to the side of the futon. The calm winds dancing outside were muffled by the pitter-patter of their feet.

“…Are you ready?” She looked down to her brother, her eyes alternated between glancing at him and the shoji. Enishi growled at his big sister's teasing.

“Come on, sis, I can't wait! What is it?.” He snapped. 

"Now now, Enshi. There's no need to shout like that." She frowned slightly, but eventually let it go. She understood his excitement. "Okay, here we go."

Tomoe carefully opened the rice-paper door as talons of light quickly filled the room with the morning gleam. Enishi was greeted by a marvellous blanket of white that layered itself around their garden. Edo had been greeted with a tempest of gales and winter winds overnight; the snowfall was steady but unstated, little flakes fell from the heavens and found residence in their garden. His expression quickly changed as his mouth gaped open and he gasped in awe. 

“Sister! It’s snowing! No wonder it's freezing!" He frantically jumped up and down, his feet continuously making dull but bombastic contact with the floor.

"Enishi, please stop jumping."  She nudged his shoulder and held onto it, making him eventually stop his frantic movements.

"Sorry, sis, I got carried away..."

“Right, but it looks nice, doesn’t it? The snow, I mean. I always love it when it snows-” At those words, Enishi was already running for the clean sheet covering their garden. “Enishi, wait!” But alas, it was too late, he had already leapt to the ground and landed on his back, frosty snowflakes leapt into the air and settled in the space surrounding Enishi's figure and on his yukata.

"Watch me!" He exclaimed.  Enishi rolled around in the cold snow as carefree as a puppy, Tomoe visibly panicked at what her brother was doing.

“You’re barely wearing anything! You’ll certainly catch a cold! And…and…”  _Oh hell_ , she thought to herself,  _he can have fun for now. We’ll just make sure he eats something warm. And has a warm bath. And changes into something warm. And…_  It sounded simpler in her mind. She didn’t even know where to start! Tomoe sighed at her brother and shook her own head.

“Look at this!” He flapped his arms and legs in tandem over and over again, as he made the image of an angel in the snow. His grin was silly and drunk with giddiness, as he riotously yelped in the presence of this winter gift. chunks of snow fell gracefully around him, his already white yukata dampened by the chilled droplets. 

"Be careful, please..." She scratched the back of her head whilst she watched her brother ruin a perfectly good yukata. 

“Join me, sis!” He was joyously laughing at this cold winter gift and she quickly forgot her previous dissatisfaction.

“What? Oh no, I couldn’t. My kimono will get damp, I just put it on.”

“Please?”

Well, she had spare ones anyway. But still...

Tomoe descended into the winter whiteness, being wise enough to keep her tabi on and place shoes beneath her feet, there was  _no way_  she would subject her bare feet to the unbelievable cold. Her brother resumed making shapes in the snow with his limbs, eagerly awaiting her arrival. Her feet made crisp, crushing sounds when they contacted the thick frost. She towered over her brother, her shadow covered his snow angel.

“You look pleased with yourself…aren’t you cold?” She tilted her head. 

“No…well, maybe a bit. But it doesn’t matter.” In response, Tomoe went to her knees and placed her palm against his forehead. She almost immediately withdrew her hand and gasped. 

“Ah! You’re freezing.” Her concern didn’t stop him. Enishi kept rolling around in the snow, playfully laughing while making various ‘shapes’. The snow was so heavy, it layered on top of his snow angels. His robe got damper by the minute and he was bound to be freezing by now, but he was having so much fun. Tomoe beamed at her younger brother, who could gain so much joy from just the simplest things.

“Hey, sis! You’re smiling!”

“Ah sorry, you’re just so silly sometimes.”

“No, don’t say sorry. It’s nice to see you smile!” Enishi giddily exclaimed as he continued to wreak playful havoc amongst the ice. Tomoe simply watched, surprised by his extreme energy. His yukata was now drenched in melted snow, and her own kimono wasn’t particularly dry either.

She maintained her smile as Enishi’s movements calmed, eventually coming to a stop. He lay on top of the final snow angel he made and he was no longer grinning like a happy fool. He began to shiver and he breathed intensely. 

“Hey, sister…it’s really cold now.” She simply nodded in agreement and looked down at his tired form.

“You don’t want to stay out here anymore?”

“No…I think I’ve had enough.” He used his elbow to lean upwards. “I just remembered that snow makes me feel really cold. I'm really cold..."

“Oh, Enishi…” She began to giggle lightly to herself.

“Hey, don’t laugh at me, sis!” His face scrunched and he grunted, his sister placed her hand over his own and he now looked at her in full earnest.

“How about this: We go to the bathhouse and I’ll start you a hot bath. I’ll leave some clothes there for you as well. While you’re in the tub, I’ll make us a nice, warm breakfast with plenty of soup and tea. When we’re done, we can get the fire going, or whatever you want. We can just relax and keep warm today. Tomorrow we can wrap up properly and go out. Does that sound good?”

“That sounds great.”

They both rose from the icy blanket, Enishi wrapped his arms around himself and gritted his teeth while shaking convulsively. Tomoe went behind her brother and put her shawl around him in an effort to keep him warm, he looked up to her sister and hummed in approval. Then, they headed for the bathhouse, ready to start a lazy but warm day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooo isn't if funny how snow is in their name and character? They both wear white, Enishi has white hair later in life, they're both pretty cold people (well Tomoe is on the surface to most people but my point still stands). It's all interesting.
> 
> I imagined Enishi being about five here.


	5. Laundry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A helping hand is always appreciated.

**Laundry:**

Tomoe was exhausted: Today's laundry load was considerably heavier than usual, more than double. She had spent over an hour scrubbing and cleaning the dirty pile, but it never came to an end. Her sleeves were tied up to her elbows as to not get her kimono too drenched. Her knees began to ache from kneeling for so long, and she had soaked up the compound of soap, water and filth. It was an unbearably warm day, the suns radiant and buzzing energy caused little droplets of sweat to materialize on Tomoe's forehead; she wiped her brow with her soapy arm and exhaled in a tired manner.

She checked the pile. Still plenty of laundry.

As Tomoe frustratingly groaned and began to comb and scrub the laundry faster, her ears picked up a light pair of feet steadily heading towards the garden. After a moment, she could hear excessive panting and she turned around to see her little brother; his face was bright crimson and his clothes were decorated with dirt.

"Enishi, you're absolutely filthy! What did you get up to?" She scowled. 

"Uh...I fell?" His head lowered to look down at the ground, he awkwardly kicked the dirt beneath him.

"Enishi, I'd wish you'd stop playing around that area." Her brow was low as she sighed.

"Sorry...am I in trouble?"

"Maybe...just get changed and bring your dirty clothes to me."

Tomoe stood and placed some newly cleaned apparel on the washing line while Enishi nodded and took a u-turn for the engawa, he soon disappeared into the folds of the house's interior which left Tomoe alone for a brief while. Tomoe rationalised that he at least didn't get into trouble with any of the other kids today, a few times he had come from with dried blood smeared over his face and clothes. Boys will be boys, but Tomoe was always worried that Enishi may sustain a serious injury one day. Her brother didn't have that many friends, Enishi either loved someone to bits or was completely apathetic. There was the odd person he couldn't stand, but that didn't happen too much. Still, she did wish that Enishi had more friends because she didn't want him to be consumed by loneliness. 

Her little brother came rushing back out into the garden in no time; he bore a bright white robe, squeaky clean, and dark blue hakama. In his arms were his previously worn garments, all dirty and scrunched up. He sat next to his sister and dumped his clothes on top of the pile of laundry.

"Hey...that's a lot of washing, sister. Why is there so much?" He was stroking his chin in a playful and semi-mocking manner.

"I guess the gods don't like me today, Enishi." 

"Um...do you want help?" He asked, his speech was low and humble.

"Oh, no, you don't have to. I haven't asked you to do the laundry this week, don't worry about it."

"Eh, don't worry about it, sis. I've got nothing better to do right now. The other kids have gone home, anyway."

"Hah, is that so? Why...thank you, Enishi," Tomoe gently squeezed his hand and smiled, "there's another brush in the washing bucket. Make sure to put clean laundry on the line to dry."

 "Oh, alright," he replied, rolling back his sleeves and reaching into the soapy water for the other brush, "will this water be enough for all this laundry?"

Tomoe answered back, "It should be." 

The two of them worked away at the pile of filthy laundry with hammer and tongs, they were purely concentrated on the task at hand and thought against speaking to each other for the sake of their work. It wasn't too uncommon for the laundry to pile up like this, it just  _happened_  sometimes. But, a helping hand was always appreciated, and Enishi was insistent on lightening the load. He could be so good whenever he put his mind to it. Not that Tomoe was particularly strict with her younger brother, but he always did what she told him to. He cherished his big sister that much. 

First was Enishi's clothes he had left on top of the pile; the two of them scrubbed and scraped and stroked with their brushes until the garments became squeaky clean, before placing the freshly cleaned clothes on the line. Good start. Afte the appetizer was out of the way, they tucked into the main course of this labourious meal. They repeated the same process and the two of them had conjured up the perfect little melody; they fell into a comfortable rhythm of wash, rinse, dry and repeat. Sometimes their hands and arms brushed against each-other clumsily, but it wasn't anything they couldn't cope with. Their afternoon ritual went smoothly, the wash bucket was just about large enough for the two of them to use. It hadn't been too long since Enishi had offered his aid, and the pile of dirty clothes was diminishing rapidly. Splitting the work-load was doing wonders.

"Okay, Enishi," Tomoe finally broke the silence whilst rubbing her forehead, "we're doing great. Just a bit more, alright?"

"Alright."

Both brother and sister continued to alternate between scrubbing clothes clean and placing the newly clean washing on the drying line. Of course, there was more laundry than usual, but the line should be able to take it. After they had placed all the washing on the line, they stood back to admire all their hard work. The laundry just about fitted neatly on the line, they were like flags planted in the wilderness as they battled against the light gusts of air. They both nodded their heads in approval and met each other's gaze.

"Very good work, Enishi. Thank you so much." Tomoe uttered softly whilst patting her brother's shoulder, smiling in the process.

"You're welcome. Hey, it won't rain, right?"

"It shouldn't do...I don't see any rain clouds. It won't take long for everything to dry, it's a lovely day." 

Enishi scratched his head, "So uh...what should we do now? To wait for the laundry to dry, that is."

"Hmm...." Her eyes lingered around the garden, it really was a lovely day. "Why don't we just sit out here for a while? You can tell me all about your day, too."

Enishi's eyes squinted shut as his lips rose to meet his cheeks and he nodded gleefully, "Okay, I'm pretty tired, anyway."

"Me too." 

They both retreated for the engawa overlooking their lovely garden, Tomoe first placed herself on the porch and then tapped her lap. Enishi climbed to sit in his big sister's lap as she folded her angelic arms around him to keep him safe and secure. Tomoe smiled lightly as he softly gripped onto her arms and looked up to her with the warmest beaming grin, there was a soft gleam in his eyes too.

"So," Tomoe began, "what did you get up to today?" 

"Oh, we all just played by the river. I'm sorry I got my clothes dirty, someone accidentally pushed me."

"Don't worry about it. At least you didn't get into any trouble today."

"I came straight back, I didn't want to hang out with them much longer anyway." He let out a squeaky giggle. 

"Wanted to see your big sis that much, did you?"

"N-no..." He blushed. "I ah, was just tired."

"Don't try to hide it, Enishi," she playfully tugged his ear, "you're a terrible liar."

"Okay...maybe I did. But, just this once." 

"Just this once?" Tomoe inquired in a somewhat snarky tone. "And what about all those others times you kept running home to your big sis? Hmm?"

"Ahhh lay off me!" He snapped back. Tomoe, somewhat humoured, lightly and teasingly slapped him on the back of his head as punishment, Enishi pulled a long face.

"Hush, now. There's nothing wrong with wanting to see your family," she giggled at how red Enishi's face was, "at least you care about your family." 

"Y-yea...course I do..." Enishi mumbled quietly. In response, his sister commenced to hold him just a little bit closer. 

"That's good. I think you're going to be a proper family man when you grow up."

"Sister," he quickly danced around the subject, "I'm...I'm not bothering you, am I? I come home, all dirty and all, without even properly saying hello to you...I feel bad about it."

"Enishi, if I was angry or mad at you, would you be sitting on my lap right now?" 

"Uh...no?"

 " _Don't worry, Enishi,"_ she stressed, "it's fine. I'm just glad to know you're okay."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

Then, the two of them decided to sit in sheer silence, as they calmly waited for the day's laundry to dry. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that Tomoe teases Enishi in this one, I unapologetically love it ^^
> 
> I'd say Enishi is eight.


	6. Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all fun and games in the Yukishiro household.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer than the previous chapters. I plan to make the chapters longer now, it may take more time but hopefully, it will be worth it.

**Games:**

It was still somewhat early in the morning, but Tomoe sat peacefully on the engawa as she basked in that wonderful day. The gods had blessed them with nearly a full consecutive week of gorgeous weather; that high yellow ball's rays shined brightly against her black hair, her lavender kimono stood out amongst the dancing lights. In her hand was a simple cup of freshly brewed tea, one which she periodically raised to her lips to take sips from whilst her eyes continued to follow those fluffy clouds in the crystal sky. She could already make out some shapes. A butterfly. A tiger. A spider? It looked like a spider. Nevertheless, this quiet peace was harmonious to her, the mixing feelings of subtle joy within her caused her to grin at the circumstances. She always loved this time of year, the days that followed her little brother's birthday were dominated with smiles and good moods, right until the time when the leaves fell from the trees. Though she preferred the soothing quietness and soothingness of a warm winter night, her inner child relished this beautiful sunshine. 

She suddenly felt a warm presence wrap itself around her left arm. Her upper body swivelled and she saw her little brother kneeling behind her, his hair brushed against the back of her sleeve as his arms held her in a clingy fashion. Tomoe hummed and placed her cup on the wooden planks of the engawa, commencing to rub his hair gently with her knuckles.

"Ah, hello there, Enishi." She remarked.

The little child sat there passively, "Hi, sis." He sounded somewhat bored. She gathered the loosely dangling threads and raised them to reveal his full forehead. 

"Aren't you going out to play with the other boys?" Tomoe inquired. Enishi shook his head aggressively.

"I don't want to see them today." She knew what he meant by that. It's not that he didn't like the boys, but Enishi always got emotional and took what they said at face value. And well...boys will be boys. Tomoe gathered They must have said things that upset him, which is why he just came rushing home right now. At least he wasn't dirty. Or bloodied. Or injured. That was a relief, but she never enjoyed seeing her brother down in the dumps. His big sister concluded that she would kindly interrogate him later about it.

"Still, you don't want to waste such a lovely day, do you?" 

"No, it'd be a shame." At that point, his face practically lit up as his mind conceived a brilliant idea. If he wasn't already clinging onto Tomoe, he would be inclined to rub his hands together in glee. "You don't want to waste this day either, right?"

"Oh, I might visit some friends later."

"Well...what're you doing before then?"

"Huh...I don't really know, to be honest. I don't have anything planned for a few hours." She for her tea and her lips lingered around the cup as she took some light sips.

 He joyfully declared his plan to the world, basking in his own sense of playful panache. "Then let's play!"

"Play?" 

"Hide and seek!" 

In a rush of nostalgia, Tomoe reminisced over all the times she would play children's games with her own friends. She herself was always terrible at these types of games: Her hiding spots were the most obvious, she ran slower than the other girls and so on. Despite being eight years her brother's senior, she figured that even he would be able to outwit her in a game of hide-and-go-seek. He was a cunning little boy, he could always outfox a bumbling tanuki. She always thought his future was destined to be bright. Despite all that, it wasn't as if she had anything  _better_ to do...there wasn't enough laundry to justify the effort and the house was practically squeaky-clean. 

"Ah...sure?" 

"Follow me!" He gripped her wrist and lept off the engawa, which prompted Tomoe to stand up and let him guide the two of them to their destination. He didn't take them far, just the centre of the garden; the two of them stood parallel in the middle of their expansive backyard of grass, bushes and trees. Enishi looked so excited, probably down to the situation he was granted that let him play in the sunlight with the person he held dearest. Tomoe looked down at him and smirked at his giddiness.

"Okay, I'll hide first!"

She interrupted his conjecture to lay down an important rule. "Hold on, Enishi. To keep this fair,  _don't_ leave the premises at all. You can hide anywhere outside or inside, just don't leave the house. Alright?"

"Pfft, yeah sure. Anyway, I'll hide first! Close your eyes and count to fifty!"

She nodded and turned away from him, covering her eyelids with her hands as she began to count and heard a diminishing pair of little footsteps inch away from her.  

_One, two, three..._

Her mind lingered and meandered, wondering where her brother could have hidden. She would have to think on her toes to catch out her brother. There was no way she would lose. Her mind continued to count up as she came to be stunned by her own excitement; Tomoe was  _never_ a competitive person, but the desire to beat her brother at his own game...well, it was probably just a sibling thing. She sometimes forgot she was his sister. Being like his mother could be tough, so the times where she could just be a sister made her calm, she smiled behind her palms just thinking about it.

_...twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six..._

Tomoe internally wished for the countdown to go faster, but she would never cheat her brother in any way. She wanted this to be fair game.

_...thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four..._

Where would he hide? The bushes? No, he's not dense. The bathhouse? Maybe, but she somehow doubted that. His own room? She scoffed at the idea, that was too obvious. The kitchen? Where would he hide, the oven? Her countdown was nearly finished, so she quickly conjured up a plan of attack. First, she would scout the garden for her brother, then she would enter the interior of their home to weed him out. If, after all that, his position still remained a mystery, Tomoe would concede crushing defeat. 

... _forty-eight, forty-nine...fifty._

Tomoe's hands retreated from her face and she called out, "Okay, Enishi! I'm ready!" 

Tomoe surveyed the immediate space around her; Enishi had covered his tracks efficiently, no trace of his travels to find the ultimate hiding spot existed, she could practically hear nothing so there was no audible proof of his whereabouts. Tomoe now had to take initiative and find Enishi using her own wits. First, she surveyed their own garden as she slowly parted the numerous bushes and blades of grass to bring out her target. Nothing was to be seen, but this didn't surprise her too much.  Their garden wasn't too enveloping, so it didn't take her awfully long to examine it in its entirety. Enishi was small, but it was highly doubtable that he would choose to find in the grass. After letting out a half-hearted sigh, she headed towards the bathhouse. Tomoe didn't drop her guard, continuing to observe her surroundings as she travelled.

 _Just why am I getting so invested in this_ _anyway?_ She thought to herself whilst walking up to the door of the bathhouse. She placed her pale palm on the shack door to the bathhouse and opened it, slowly entering the shack. He wasn't in the entryway, so she shifted over to the other side and slowly opened the door to the washing room.

 _Nothing._ She combed the entire mini-house, all its hidden nooks and crannies. Nothing came up. 

Well, that had ticked another box on her imaginary list. She swiftly retreated from the bathhouse and hurried towards the engawa, As she lifted herself on the wooden porch, her ears picked up the faintest sound. Curious, she hesitantly paused in her tracks to discern where such an audible queue originated from. It sounded beneath her. Somewhat startled, Tomoe retreated from the engawa and her feet found themselves on the soil ground yet again. The noise was oh-so-faint, but the silence in the air didn't negate its sound. It almost sounded like...breathing. Tomoe descended to her knees and elbows to peak under the engawa. At first, she couldn't make anything out, but here eyes promptly adjusted to observe a figure lying on its front, head and face buried in the dirt.

"Enishi?"

The little figure promptly raised its head and looked at her, it emitted a disgruntled groan. "Dammit! You found me....that was kinda quick."

 "It was your breathing. So...under the engawa? That's pretty resourceful, even for you."

He crawled out from his hiding place and dusted himself off as he rose to his feet. He was subtly frowning, but still eager to continue the game.

"Okay! Now it's your turn to hide. I'll count to fifty." He planted his face and elbows onto the supporting beam behind him as he began his bombastic countdown. 

Tomoe internally panicked; she was never used to these games, so finding a hiding spot would be tough for her. Enishi's small frame allowed him to neatly fit into many tight corners whilst still being able to shroud himself in a sense of secrecy. At this point, Tomoe was a fully mature and grown woman, she was simply too big for hiding spots. Realising that Enishi was a fifth of the way through his countdown, she turned her mind to the only place her mind could think of. Tomoe quietly retreated from her brother, making sure not to make any audible noise. She went followed the engawa up to the rice paper door of her own room; she sighed as she hushed brought herself up onto the engawa and opened the shoji to her room, careful to lightly close it behind her. Tomoe all but dived into her futon, wrapping herself in the quilt like a gift. 

The plan...it sounded so good in her head. But now, she thought it ridiculous.

_Oh, dear. He's totally going to find me in no time! I probably made so much noise! And...what am I even doing? I'm hiding in my own futon! Where I sleep! This is so obvious..._

Her fears only amplified once she heard Enishi's proclamation!

"Ready or not, here I come, sis!"

She was totally expecting the enveloping aura of rapidly approaching footsteps. What she  _was_ greeted with was...nothing. Enishi seemed to be looking in a completely different place. She breathed out in a relieved manner as she shifted in the futon, making sure it wasn't  _too_ obvious that she was hiding. But she wasn't fooling everyone, futons weren't made for hiding. Even so, she was relieved that Enishi didn't immediately know her hiding spot. However, clearly Enishi was a resourceful boy, so it would only a be a matter of time for him to find her. He would defeat her in humiliating fashion and would probably brag about it all the way until dinner. Probably after dinner as well. He was very excitable.

She didn't know how long she had been hiding in the futon, but it felt  _too_ long. Tomoe still couldn't hear any nearby footsteps. Did she..did Tomoe have her little brother completely dumbfounded? Oh, this was rare. It didn't matter how smart Enishi was, she figured, the older sibling was always the wisest. Proud of herself for getting the drop on him so utterly, she simply waited. For Tomoe, fooling Enishi like this was a sort of childish victory in of itself. There was no threat of her carelessly falling asleep in the futon or anything of the sorts, her senses were acute as they kept alert for her brother.

At that moment, it had felt like she had just jinxed herself. As the pitter-patter of Enishi's tiny feet got closer and closer. It had been some time, he must have checked every other part of the house. Tomoe could tell he was right outside the shoji as he lightly opened that rice paper door and peeked inside. Presumably, in response to the unusual lump inside the futon, he rushed over to it and grabbed the corner of the quilt, casting it off the futon only to reveal her sister awkwardly laying on her side looking directly at him. An awkward silence loomed over the room as they remained perfectly still, neither of them knew what words to utter at this moment.

"...Ah." She muttered.

In response, her little brother just began to outrageously laugh. His face turned bright red as he tried to keep back the odd tear or two. Meanwhile, Tomoe scratched her head in bafflement. "It took me forever to find you!"

"So I _did_ have you fooled." She placed herself upright on her futon whilst her brother sat parallel to her. "Do you want another round?"

"In a minute. I just wanna sit for a bit, gotta think of a new hiding spot."

Now was the perfect time for a follow-up, she figured. "Enishi...why didn't you want to play with the other boys today? What did they say?"

"Oh...they made fun of me for having no mommy...again..."

She audibly gasped. Tomoe knew that the kids liked to bring it up, and Enishi never took it well. She leaned over to hug him softly. 

"What? They're silly, Enishi. Don't listen to them. Of course, you have a mommy." There was tenderness in her voice.

"But...mother died, sis..."

"Well, she may have been your mother, Enishi. But she wasn't your mommy."

Following this brief intermission, they continued to play this game until past noon. Enishi found more and more ways to squeeze into the nooks and crannies of their home, whilst Tomoe continued to surprise her little brother with her simple yet effective hiding spots. She even tried hiding under the engawa...but that didn't go well. Tomoe was used to being a guardian and the head of the house, she didn't have much time to just enjoy herself. Right then, she felt just like a normal sister, playing silly games with her baby brother.

Still, as she had said herself, she was still Enishi's mommy. So by the time they both got tired of trying to outsmart each-other, she prepared some snacks for the both of them; Enishi's spirits had been lifted extraordinarily by what she had said earlier, it made her smile like nothing else. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ADMIT TO STEALING THAT LINE FROM GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2. I'm sorry, it's just an amazing line.


	7. Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being unwell is the perfect excuse to be taken care of by someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Descriptions of illness and vomiting.

**Sick:**

"Ugghhhh...."

She had awoken from her slumber some time ago, but Tomoe couldn't physically bring herself to emerge from the sheets and out of her room. Her head was spinning, crippled with an unhinged ache. Her limbs and joints were all maligned with a diabolically intense pain. Coughs continuously rose from her chest and out of her mouth. Her stomach was churning and she felt ready to spew out her guts any minute. There was no way to jump around this: Tomoe was ill.  _Very ill._

She wondered how on earth this could have happened, for illness was not a too common occurrence with her. She wasn't too sure what could have caused it; her mind brought her to that tea house she went to with Akira and vowed  _to never go there again_ , but on second thought that answer was extremely unsatisfactory. While it wasn't anything that would kill her, she felt helpless. She couldn't move out of her futon, the ceiling above her was spinning round and round, what could she do?

Tomoe called out to her brother.

"Enishi? Enishi?" Her croaky voice called out to him, but she was unsure if he could even hear her pathetic pleas for help, let alone make out what she was trying to say. Convicted never to give up, she called out once again. "Enishi? Are you awake?." 

It took all her strength, but that must have done it because, after her pleas, an approaching pair of footsteps made its way to her room. His legs seemed to be moving quickly, she expected nothing else from him. The presence practically flung her shoji open and lept into her room, towering over her despite his height.

"Oh gods, you're so pale! What's wrong, sis?!" His hand covered his mouth and his eyes gaped wide open as he took in what he saw.

"Ah...sorry, but...I'm not fu...f-feeling so well today, Enishi." Tomoe's previous hailings had taken most of her energy, her voice was now extremely quiet and raspy. Enishi, unable to properly react to her pitiful state, hummed and nodded. "Sorry, I-"

"Stay in bed," he interrupted, "I'll get you some stuff. Please don't move!" Enishi back-peddled and left her field of vision leaving her to her own thoughts and to observe the outside world. The sky was drearily cloudier than usual, the rain's enveloping shroud wetted the ground outside; the weather reflected how she felt on the inside. Her own sense of excruciating pain dominated most of her mind, but she held onto that one thread of calming pleasure that dulled the pain somewhat: Her brother was so adamant to help her, she was glad that she had someone to rely on at this moment. It made her feel...warm inside. She turned her head to gaze back at the roof, Tomoe felt more comfortable in this position but she still felt queasy. As she continued to cough louder and louder, Enishi came racing back into the room, two buckets in his hands and a towel over his shoulder. One bucket was completely empty - no doubt for his big sister's upset stomach - and the other was filled to the brim with cool water. He placed both buckets on her bedside gently before dunking the small rag over his shoulder into the full bucket. Tomoe brought her hands over her stomach as Enishi took out the towel and covered her forehead carefully with the damp flannel. Tomoe instantly felt catharsis as she sighed, allowing herself to be enveloped in that sinking feeling. Still, the now 'resolved' crisis of her hot head did nothing to conquer the problem of her limbs or her cough or her stomach. Speaking of her stomach...

"Uh...Enishi, I..."

That brewing cocktail of unpleasantries made itself known...maybe it was the sight of the bucket but now she felt ready to let loose. Her upper body immediately jolted up, her teeth clenched in pain from the sudden movements and the towel fell to the side which prompted Enishi to lean down and pick it up. Tomoe then grabbed the empty bucket, Enishi seemed to understand and turned his back on her, letting her do her business. She leaned forward, curving into the bucket as it sat square on her lap.Tomoe inched down and heaved into it, spilling out the contents of her gut into the wooden container. At first, she felt ashamed at what she was doing and realised that the bucket would need a good clean afterwards. Still, it didn't stop her from gasping and retching, she needed to let it  _all_ out. After what felt like hours of spewing, she looked up to her brother, managing a slight blush amidst all that pale skin.

"Uh...I'm sorry about all this..." She sounded worn out.

He simply let out. "Don't be." In response, Tomoe weakly put the bucket back on the bedside, which prompted her brother to swivel around, drenching the towel in the water again and placing it on her forehead. She remained upright and simply breathed heavily between the odd coughing fit.

"Thank you so much." Tomoe eventually blurted out.

"I'll leave the buckets here. Do you need anything else, sis?"

Her recent expulsion had left a void in her stomach. "Uh...I'm...a bit hungry."

"Okay! I'll be back soon!" He scurried back outside, leaving Tomoe to contemplate what had just happened. It was nothing out of the ordinary or anything, but she was expecting Enishi to at least complain about the smell...or something...heck,  _anything_. But here he was, being the perfect little helper. When he wanted to, he could set his mind to anything. He would do anything for her, even tending to her sick state and nursing her back to health. An eight-year-old nursing their guardian? It was unheard of, but she didn't particularly care. She giggled at the current occurrence until it gave way into another round of coughing. That all-too-familiar pitter-patter of her brother's feet got closer to her door. Now, he was holding a tray with a single cup of green tea and a bowl of leftovers from the previous night. It was nothing luxurious, mostly just rice and vegetables, but it would help put the colour back in her cheeks. He set the tray on her bedside before picking up the buckets and placing them just outside her room, perhaps to rid the room of the foul odour. 

"Oh, _thank you_ , Enishi. You're such an angel." 

"Please, don't speak too much. Just rest." His remark caused her to blink rapidly, ultimately Tomoe simply nodded and reached for the tray, propping it on her lap like with the bucket. She raised the cup to her lips and sipped on the tea, it was  _warm_ , not too hot nor too cold, it was perfect. Its sweet taste washed out that bitter aftertaste her vomiting had left in her mouth, the tangy sensation at the back of her throat softened. She placed the cup back on the tray and scooped up both the bowl and the chopsticks. Time to eat. The dish was cold, as to be expected, but its flavour was obvious. She savoured the rich taste as she slowly consumed her makeshift breakfast whilst Enishi just sat next to her and placed the towel on her forehead once again; on-and-off again as he rubbed it with the cool and damp cloth. She coughed between servings, covering her mouth to prevent any possible contamination. 

Tomoe progressed with her breakfast nicely, alternating between the tea and rice in a pleasant rhythm. In the meanwhile, Enishi remained by her side, patiently anticipating any requests she had for him. He was so good, sometimes, she figured. After finishing her meal, the tray found itself back into Enishi's hands, prompting Tomoe to lay on her side.

"I think..." Tomoe gulped, "I'm stuck here today."

Her brother replied on cue. "It's fine, sis. You always take care of me when I'm sick, so it's only fair. I want to make sure you get better." His voice was unusually and surprisingly tender, especially for him, every word he uttered carried an indescribable weight. The wind found its way into and filled up her room, she shivered and convulsed in response.

"...I'm cold..."

Her brother instantly closed the shoji door behind him, helped Tomoe settle on her back and pulled the quilt up to her neck, surrounding her with as much warmth as he could. The rain became heavier and heavier, creating bombastic sounds against the roof and doors. 

"You warm enough?" He asked.

"Mhm, thank-" She was interrupted by a hearty cough, quickly covering her mouth. Enishi shifted over to where her head rested, gently stroking her hair for comfort.

"It's okay. I'll look after you, today. Just take it easy, alright?"

He was practically parenting  _her_ at this point. How the tables had turned. 

"Okay...alright. I'm really sorry about this...not sure why I'm..."

"You don't have to be sorry. It happens to all of us, right?" 

"Ahh, you're such a good boy."

"Please don't speak too much," he yelled and pleaded, "just focus on resting!" 

Tomoe nodded and quietened down, allowing herself to rest easy. Enishi kept watching over her for the rest of the day, making sure she had everything she needed and tending to her occasional bursts of vomit. With no one else able to cook, aside from their father, her brother had to make due with what his big sister had taught him. The best he could do was simple soup, perhaps the best thing for Tomoe. Once the night sky's shadow had risen into the clouds and the stars emerged from the abyss, Tomoe found herself falling into a gentle sleep. Enishi remained by her side, even throughout the night. 

The next day, their father had decided to summon a doctor before heading out for the day. At first, the head of the household was concerned for his daughter, but his proud young son promised him that he would look after his big sister. The doctor came over and assured the family that Tomoe would be fine, just that she needed some rest and that she would be well in a week at the most. The doctor gave out a concoction, which Enishi began to put into her tea. He spent the next few days looking after her, making sure she got back to health. Tomoe could feel life coming back to her, slowly but surely, however, it was still too soon. Her head still raced. Her limbs still ached. Her coughing still went on. However, she mustered the strength to leave her bed every now and then, it was an improvement over the first day. She didn't like her situation, how helpless she was, but she was grateful to her brother. His constant imperatives of 'Please, don't move too much! and 'Just rest!' made her smile. It was sort of...cute. But it was taking its toll on him; Enishi was an excitable and energetic kid, but he was still just that. A kid. As the week went on, his appearance became less and less energetic, almost becoming outright ghostly as he physically proved his own tiredness. Tomoe felt somewhat guilty, but he was still adamant to look after her. 

On the sixth night, Enishi stayed up late into the night, making sure his sister was comfortable and went to sleep soundly. Once he was satisfied, he retreated into his own room for a few precious hours of sleep. 

 

*********

 

Tomoe practically leapt up from her sleep, it had been nearly a week since she fell ill but now, on this bright and lovely morning, she was feeling better than ever. She stretched out her arms an yawned desperately, as the final traces of her fatigue left her body. She felt like a new person, her old skin had been shed and she had a fresh, new one. She then heard her brother coming closer and closer to her room, he was in for a surprise.

The shoji flung open and there stood Enishi, the low-hanging sun illuminating his heavenly visage. His face was anything  _but_ heavenly though, his eyes squinted half shut and bags formed under them, his hair was scruffier than usual and his expression was neutral. Clearly, the work had taken its toll on him. But it wouldn't anymore. He inched forward, both buckets in hand, only to subtly pick up on Tomoe's newly found vitality.

"Hey...you can move properly now...?" He inquired, voice still cursed with sleep.

"Thank you so much, dear. I feel a lot better now."

"Oh, that's good...I...I'm..." The flight left his body as he dropped both buckets and tumbled over, landing square on Tomoe's lap. Her eyes widened as she looked down at her brother, but she grinned at his shameless display. "Can I...sleep here, please? I'm...still kinda tired."

"Of course you can." She shifted and fidgeted slightly, bringing Enishi to her side as they laid down, his head just below her shoulder. He lazily wrapped his arm around her and found himself in a comfortable position, but not before uttering one final sentence.

"I'm glad you're better..."

The poor boy had been looking after her for nearly a week, and barely slept through it all. It was only fair, she thought. To coax him into a calming slumber, Tomoe held him close and stroked his hair softly, humming a soothing lullaby into his ear. She'd make it up to him...soon. Right now, he needed to sleep. Tomoe placed a warm and lingering kiss on his forehead as he grinned in his slumber, pleased with the work he had done. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sickness Tomoe has in this piece is based off influenza, but I didn't care too much about conforming to any particular illness. I apologize.


	8. Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brushwork...needs work.

**Lessons:**

"Hey...sis?" A squeaky voice asked.

"Ah, Enishi!" Tomoe yelped as she slammed her diary shut. It was the early evening and dinner had just passed, she was sitting at her desk in her room, filling her journal with her innermost thoughts. Her little brother had snuck up on her whilst she was writing...she hoped Enishi didn't manage to read anything. She turned around to face him. "Please don't scare me like that!" 

"Ahh, I'm so sorry!" He said whilst bending to his knees, bowing out of respect. "I didn't mean to scare you...I didn't see what you were writing if that's what you were worried about..."

 _Phew_ , she thought.

"No...it's fine," she was grinning now as she patted his hair, "is there something you need?"

"Uh...could you please check up on my calligraphy? I want to know how good I'm doing, is that alright?"

"Oh...yes, I suppose I can have a look at how you're doing. Take a seat next to me." At that point, Tomoe shifted to her left to leave some room for her little brother behind the desk. Accepting her invitation, Enishi dragged himself over to the empty space next to his sister; the desk was quite low and Enishi could just about place his palms and forearms comfortably on the desk. Tomoe earnestly beamed at him. "Oh...it looks like you've grown a bit. I swear you're getting taller and taller by the day."

"You think?" He didn't look too pleased with her innocently childlike tone...perhaps it was his age.

"Oh yes, definitely. Well...I remember when you were just a little baby, such a cutie, you were. You've grown so fast, it's hard to believe the days of me carrying you on my back are long gone. You'll probably grow taller than me when you become a man."

Enishi looked blankly at her, somewhat confused. He blinked once, trying to discern the meaning behind her words...if there was any. 

 _Ah, my motherly instincts are kicking in again..._ Tomoe's cheeks went light pink as she cleared her throat and fidgeted awkwardly. "Sorry about that..where we...ah yes, calligraphy? Brushwork?"

Her brother nodded in confirmation, "I want to see how much I've improved. I've been practising by myself but it's a bit tough...why can't it be simple?"

"Enishi, I know it seems difficult but you will soon get used to it. Do you understand?"

He reluctantly nodded, which garnered him a plump and warm kiss on the forehead. Pleased with himself, Enishi waited for Tomoe to set some paper, ink and a brush straight in front of him. He excitedly gripped onto the brush and dipped it in the jar of ink, awaiting further instructions. "Alright sis what do you want me to do?"

"Hmm...well let's keep things simple for now," Tomoe replied, "just write your own name down on the paper. You remember how to write your own name, right?"

"I'll try." The brush made contact with the bundle of paper; Enishi flicked, slashed and streaked his brush lightly as he made various lines and shapes on the sheet. Black ink began to fill the top corner of the paper...but his actions stopped for a moment, he seemed unsure of himself in some way. "Ah, shoot...I made a mistake, didn't I, sis?" 

Tomoe leaned over slightly to examine his rather exquisite brushwork. "...No, you didn't. In fact, that's rather good brushwork there. Keep going." 

She kept a watchful eye as Enishi continued to scribble down the characters for his name; his eyes were laser-focused on the paper as his hand performed little precise motions, making sure the brush glided along the sections he desired. The family surname had been spelt out, now it was time for his own name. The character for his own name was always much more complicated and elegant compared to that of his sister's, he wasn't entirely sure what the character meant. Nevertheless, he recalled from his own memory and seemingly went on autopilot as his hand continued to make more movements and strokes to complete his full name: Yukishiro Enishi. 

Enishi placed the tiny brush square on the desk, trying to look up to see his sister, who was still leaning over him somewhat. "How'd I do? Did I write my own name right?"

"Well...for a small boy who's learning his brushwork from his older sister...I'd say that's not bad in the slightest. Do you remember what I told you about the meaning of your name, Enishi?"

He shook his head fervently. "N-no, I can't remember."

"Well," she used her finger to make invisible circles around the family surname, "the family surname,  _Yukishiro_ , recalls the white snow of winter. We are the family of snow clearer and purer than anything else."

"Oh, is that why you wear white kimonos all the time?" He snarkily remarked. Tomoe rolled her eyes at his efforts at trying to be smart and funny.

"I've heard that one many times before, besides I have different colour ones. Anyway... _your_ name is a little more complicated. _Enishi_ is a...kind of concept, it's the sense of fate and destiny that ties us all together, and represents the bond between family or lovers...at least, from what I understand by what father has told me. It's difficult to explain..."

"Uh...I think I understand...It's a bit of a strange name, though..."

"Maybe."

Enishi scratched his head, perhaps too young to understand his sister's words. To change the subject, he gripped the brush again. 'So what's next?"

She placed her hand on his own. "Try writing my own name, Enishi. Can you do that?"

"Oh, definitely!" Was what he blurted out with enthusiasm as he went to the paper hammer and tongs; he used the calligraphy brush to efficiently scribble out his sister's own name. Tomoe knew what his conviction meant, it wasn't that he took joy in writing her name, rather her name was much simpler for him to put down on paper. She had to admit that there were several less...lines in her name compared to his, but that's the nature of kanji, she supposed. She watched as her brother drew out her name almost perfectly, it brought a light blush and smile to her face.

"That's very good...I fear you may be able to write my name better than I can..."

That made Enishi riotously cackle. "Don't lie!"

"Do you remember what my name means?"

"Uh..it's hope...right? Or something like that." 

"Yes, something along those lines."

"Well, it suits you perfectly." He replied smoothly.

"Nice try, Enishi, but you have  _no idea_ how many people have told me that." She then said under breath: "That's Kiyosato's favourite line to use on me as well..."

"Huh?"

 "Oh, nothing! Okay, enough with the baby steps...let's see...why don't you write down a bit about yourself? I want to see all you can remember. No rush, take your time." 

On prompt, Enishi picked up the brush again, dunked it in the ink and set it on paper. She observed his swift motions as Enishi placed characters down and across the pages. Tomoe couldn't quite make out what these combinations of characters were saying as Enishi's free arm was covering most of the page, but he seemed to have plenty to write about. Nothing came out of his mouth as he completely concentrated on the task at hand, filling almost the entire page with his notes and statements.

"Done!" He snapped proudly, handing the sheet to Tomoe. She took the page it from his tiny hands and scanned it, which said:

_'I am Yukishiro Enishi. I am eight years old and I live with my family in Edo. I am the only male child of the family, so it sometimes gets a little lonely. I don't have a mother anymore, but I have a father and a big sister. Father is really busy all the time, but he's kind to me. My big sister takes really good care of me, I love her like a mother and a sister and I don't know what I'd do without her. My favourite food is hot soba and I love drinking tea on the engawa before bedtime. I want to learn to start using a sword soon, but my sister tells me I'm too young, I trust her though. Last week, we all went for a nice picnic out in the countryside and watched the fireflies in the evening. My futon is a bit hard to sleep in.'_

Tomoe wondered, was that last part a hint? Still, what Enishi had written was very sweet; she placed her palm on her chest and let out a single breathy giggle. His writing skills had improved by a long shot, his calligraphy had very few errors, it made her misty-eyed. 

"That's...this is very good, Enishi. I'm impressed. You've made a few mistakes here and there, but your brushwork is coming along nicely. Why don't you write something else? Anything that comes to mind."

He was silent for a few moments, coming up with something to write down, as Tomoe put the singular piece of paper down beside her enclosed diary. He must have gotten an idea fast though, because shortly afterwards he was scribbling away like the world was about to end. Using everything his sister had taught him up until now, he made confident characters on the paper and marked the page with his brushwork. Taking the occasional second or two to dip the brush in the ink, he was working at a hastened pace, which made his sister wonder all-the-more what he was writing. Her pondering promptly pulverized as Enishi gave Tomoe the fruits of his labour and suggested to her to take a read of his work. It seemed like a continuation of what he had previously written. It read:

_'I wish mother was here to see how much my sister has grown up. She spends lots of time looking after me, giving me calligraphy lessons and making sure I'm not hungry. She makes sure I get to sleep every night and wakes me up in the morning. She makes me feel better if I'm sad or hurt. She can be a bit strict sometimes, but it's only fair because I need to do my part to keep the home safe and clean. I don't know what mother was like, but I bet she would be proud of sis, I know she would. And the worst bit is that I can't make it up to her because I'm only a kid! I want to try and pay her back for all she has done for me though, maybe when I'm older and stronger and smarter. She deserves it.'_

The content of the page was infinitely more interesting than how well Enishi's calligraphy held up. "Enishi...this note..."

He shrugged. "Hey, you asked me. I couldn't think of anything else." 

Tomoe managed to refrain from shedding tears and placed the sheet on top of the other one. She looked at her brother with an honest smile about her. "It means a lot coming from you. Thank you."

"It's nothing, really..."

"Your calligraphy and brushwork are coming along well...I'm proud of you. I'll teach you new things tomorrow, for now, we can relax. Good work."

"Well, it's only thanks to you...right?" He noted the dimming lights outside and his expression brightened to one of unrelenting happiness. "Hey! Why don't we watch the sunset? I bet it's gonna look gorgeous, sis!"

"Sure, let me just put these away first." His big sister replied with a sincerely positive tone.

"Okay, but be quick!" On that note, Enishi jumped up from the desk and ran out of his big sister's room. Before she joined him for their usual stargazing, she looked around to make sure nobody was nearby. She had felt like a criminal planning something devious, but her intentions were only innocent. After being sure literally, nobody was around, she picked up the pieces of loose paper which Enishi had written on and slipped it into her diary. Pleased with herself, she rose from the floor and went to join her little brother, in higher spirits than usual.

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't claim to be an expert on calligraphy at all.


	9. Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enishi asks a difficult question.

**Mother:**

_"Hey, what's that bump on your belly, mother?"_

_"The newest member of the family, dear. Dad and I can't wait for you two to meet each other!"_

_"Uh...is it a boy or girl?"_

_"Oh, heavens if I know, dear. We'll have to see."_

_"I hope it's a boy, I'd like a little brother."_

 

*********

 

“Hey, sis...?”

“Oh, hello Enishi.” Tomoe’s little brother, Enishi, had approached her whilst she was chopping vegetables, he was standing right behind her with his arms behind his back. "You must be really hungry by now, right? Well don't worry, I'm just getting some dinner ready."

"Oh thanks, sis, but um...that's not why I'm here." 

"Hmm, is everything alright? Do you want to ask something?" There was tenderness in Tomoe's voice but she didn’t turn around to face her brother, her current task required too much attention,

“Yea, but…um…I’m not sure how to ask this…” His right hand rose to his mouth and he bit his nails. “Oh, never mind! Forget I asked.”

Tomoe continued to slice and dice some daikon radishes, smooth cutting noises were followed by the dull thwack of the knife impacting against the kitchen counter. Her pace was somewhat lagging, but it was consistent and one that produced good results. 

“No, it’s alright, Enishi. You can ask me anything, if something’s on your mind, please don't hesitate to tell me.”

“Oh, uh...okay,” he scratched the back of his head and stayed quiet for a bit, eventually opening his mouth in a nervous manner, “sister-um…what was our mother like?”

She stopped dead in her tracks, her grip on the knife loosened and it nearly fell from her hand. For a few seconds, Tomoe stood in sheer silence, processing the implications of Enishi’s question. She was initially too stunned for words.

“M-mother? Oh…uh…w-well...” Tomoe stared into blank space, her mind couldn’t come up with the words to answer with, such a weighty request had just come out of the blue. Her conflicting thoughts distracted her from her important preparations, she snapped out of it and replied properly. “Sorry Enishi, but I'm a bit busy at the moment. Let me finish dinner first, okay? We can talk after we've eaten.”

“Oh, that’s okay, I guess...thanks.” He shifted out of the kitchen awkwardly, a hot red pigment dominating his face.

Tomoe tried to finish her culinary activities, but she was awfully distracted. The rice was slightly undercooked. The vegetables weren’t so finely chopped as they usually were. The meat was lightly burnt. Enishi didn’t seem to notice, he still guzzled his food back like the excitable kid he was, noting just  _how good_ it was to eat and thanking both the gods and his big sister. That, or he chose not to say anything. Tomoe herself was dissatisfied with how it was weighing down on her mind; she couldn't eat much that evening, suddenly she had lost her appetite. Simply put, his question had concerned her; Tomoe was concerned by the possibility that her brother was missing their mother.

Tomoe’s memories of the eldest woman of the Yukishiro family were hazy. Like her daughter, her hair was raven-black, but that was the only similarity she could remember. Tomoe recalled her mother having much less trouble with expression than she, allowing herself to smile and frown and cry and laugh all the time. She thought her mother was beautiful, in that indescribable and classical way. That might have just been her own mind betraying her, but Tomoe somehow doubted that. She tried her hardest to be cheerful, in order to set an example for her family. Her cooking was the  _best_ , there was no way her own culinary skills could live up to her mother’s. She was the perfect mother, and…

She evoked the birth of his younger brother, the untimely death of their mother, and the tears both she and their father had expelled that day. Tomoe could never bring herself to blame Enishi, it wasn’t his fault, however, her tragic passing had left the newest member of the Yukishiro family without a mother. No matriarchal figure. Tomoe brought it upon herself to raise Enishi as a mother would, despite being less than ten years his senior, and he came to love her as both his sister and mother. Tomoe sometimes longed for a more typical relationship with her brother, one of constant teasing and casual bickering like she had seen with other siblings, being a mother to him was not an easy task. However, Tomoe really wasn't bothered by it too much; it’s what mother would want, or so she thought. 

Tomoe concluded that Enishi's curiosity was only natural and that he had every right to know more about her. After dinner, she proceeded to take Enishi to the sitting room.

“Come on, Enishi.”

"Alright."

Whilst they travelled down the twisting hallways, Tomoe placed her palm on the back of his shoulder, slowing down to match Enishi’s pace. He made no sudden movements or sounds. Once they reached the entrance, she slid the shoji open and they sat down around the table, directly facing each other. Tomoe’s hands were placed on her lap in parallel.

“Enishi, are you okay? Is everything alright?” Her face was adorned with a subtle frown.

“I’m fine but…I just want to know about her.” Enishi looked down at the floor. “I’m sorry, sister. I’m stupid. Forget I said anything.”

“No, don’t be ashamed, Enishi. It’s only natural for you to be curious.” Tomoe’s eyes darted around the room as she figured out a way to begin, “To tell you the truth, I don’t remember much about her. My memories may not be reliable, so…father likely remembers her better than I...”

“It’s okay, sister. I want to hear it from  _you_. I'll ask dad when he comes home.”

“Really?” His reply made her feel…good. Tomoe breathed out in a weighty manner. “Well, alright then: She was a lovely woman and a good mother. She was reserved and respectful, but mother had a heart of pure gold. She was always there for me when I needed her, for the small amount of time she was in my life.” She halted her own speech as she figured out what to say next, “Well, her hair was much like mine and yours, so I guess you now know where we get it from. I remember her being quite slim, she was relatively pale but she was a beautiful woman. She was really tall, taller than me and father, in fact. I own some of her old kimonos she used to wear when she was my age and they’re really lovely. Actually, I think the one I'm wearing right now used to belong to her...she loved the colour purple, did I ever tell you that Enishi? Oh! She was the  _best_ cook. Oh, Enishi, if you only had a chance to taste her cooking, it was so delicious and much better than anything I've ever done.”

"Seriously?" Enishi asked, awestruck at all that information. However, Tomoe noticed that he was particularly taken aback by the cooking comment. 

“Oh uh...yes that's right. I'm remembering it now...her food was amazing. It had the secret touch, something only a mother could add. I don't know how she did it, perhaps the secret ingredient was love, but it was  _incredible._ Some of my own cooking habits come from having just watched her when I was little...but I was quite young." Tomoe suddenly stopped and awkwardly looked at the floor, she was more ‘in the moment’ than she would ever expect. "Ah...sorry about that, I got carried away."

"It's okay," he replied whilst beaming, "what else do you remember about her?"

She cleared her throat and raised her head to look at him again, ready to resume her recollections. Her brother just sat in sheer silence.

“Um…she would always wake up first, I remember always waking up to the scent of freshly cooked breakfast...she practically ran the entire family. Even when Dad was home, he liked to refer to her judgement. They made each other happy, even when times were rough, they always enjoyed each other's company. She was a truly smart woman too, she could always tell when I was sad, and she would soothe and comfort me. She always tried her best to be supportive and happy, always garnering smiles from people around her no matter how down they were. I still remember how happy she was when she found out that she had been blessed with another child. She was so ready for you, she would constantly tell me that I was going to have a baby brother or sister and that I could have someone to coddle. I was happy too because it was lonely being an only child. And…and…” Tomoe stopped as she came to realize that the extent of her memories had been more-or-less reached. Enishi must have realised this because he generously got the conversation going again.

“She sounds great.” Enishi was visibly leaning towards the table.

“Yes. She really was. Mother would always put other people's needs before hers, especially when it came to her family. Father told me of the time they met, it was an arranged marriage but they quickly fell in love with each other. They were perfect for one another.”

“Do you miss her?”

“I miss her a lot, Enishi. It hasn't been the same without her. It's...tough.”

“Sister…why did she...why did mother die?”

The exact question she was afraid of.  _Oh no, how do I tell him?_  She improved her posture, determined in her form. 

“Childbirth, it...it can be very dangerous.  And mother she...was never the healthiest of people; she was ill more often than others, in fact. When it was time for you to arrive she…she..." She shut her eyes as her hand met the face of the table. After an agonizing few seconds, she looked at her brother in full earnest. "There were complications. It was too much, we did all we could but nothing was working. She passed away shortly after delivering you to us. I’m so sorry Enishi, mother tried  _so hard_  to live, but she just couldn’t handle it.”

A brutal but brief silence loomed over them.

“It…” Enishi replied, finally breaking the quietness of the room, “…it’s my fault?” He slouched as he commenced to quietly sob. Sorrow and shame conquered his tone. “I killed her? I killed her, didn't I?”

Tomoe audibly gasped and her eyes sharply widened as her brother began to violently expel his anguish. 

"Enishi! Don't be so-"

He screamed. "I'm so sorry, Tomoe!"  

_Did he just call me Tomoe?_

“Wait!” She immediately jumped to her feet but it was too late, Enishi had risen from the floor and sprinted out. It was only her in the room, his wailing echoing further and further through the house.

She palmed her forehead and whispered under her breath."Oh no. Oh no no no no no no no no. Where did I go wrong? I'm such an idiot. Poor Enishi..."

 

**_*****_ **

 

Some twenty minutes later, Tomoe found herself outside her brother’s room. Her morbid revelation confused him, in retrospect she thought that she could have done a better job at explaining everything. Enishi was still a child, so being blunt with him was bound to fail. Her brother was always emotional, but his severe breakdown was too much even for her, and she _knew_ how upset he was for he called her by name, something he rarely did. Enishi’s outburst had seriously impacted her mood; the fact that he blamed himself for mother’s death, even though he had done nothing, didn’t sit well with her.

Tomoe had spent the last twenty minutes gathering her thoughts to best decide what to say to her brother. Emphasis was put on assuring him that he had done absolutely nothing wrong. In addition to that, she prepared some sweet tea just for him. Enishi sure did love his tea; it was a small gesture but one she wanted to make. 

She could hear his sobbing from the other side, but she figured that at least he wasn’t hysterically wailing and bellowing like before. Still, it caused her to sigh and frown.

Tomoe gently tapped his shoji.

“Hello, Enishi? It’s just me. Can I come in?”

No response.

“Enishi, please...I need to talk to you. I'm coming in, alright?” Tomoe knew what was best for him, he was given enough time to let it all out anyway. She lightly opened the shoji and saw that Enishi had buried himself in his futon, his black hair poking out of the sheets. Tomoe laid the tea down by the bedside and placed herself next to Enishi on the futon. Before she could untangle the quilt, Enishi flipped over his makeshift fortress and looked up to see his surrogate mother.

“Tomoe...” He was incredibly croaky, the tears were still flowing.

_He called me Tomoe again..._

She reached out to her brother. “Enishi...we need to talk."

He shook his head.

“No! It’s my fault, _I_ killed her. I should’ve never been born. You must hate me. I’m really sorry for killing her, I didn't mean to!” Enishi buried his head back into the sheets. In rapid response, his big sister reached for the quilt and pulled it away from her brother before propping him up and wrapping her graceful arms around him. He gasped as his face was buried in her soft purple kimono.

“It's  _not_  your fault. Please, don’t be like that.” Her repeated hushes cancelled out his sniffles and sobs, she began to rock him soothingly as he softly breathed against her. “It’s not your fault, Enishi. You did  _nothing_ wrong. Don’t blame yourself. You didn't kill her. Please, stop crying.”

“But if I was never born, then she’d still be here, right? So I killed her in a way..right?” Tomoe shook her head and reached down to wipe the tears from his damp cheeks. Enishi continued to whimper slightly, but he was calming down.

“Enishi, it’s not like that at all, our mother was unbelievably happy when she found out that she had a son. When she left this world, she looked so peaceful. Mother wanted you to live on. There's no need to cry.”  She wiped his cheeks again, before patting his back lightly whilst rocking him. Enishi still continued to weep, however. 

“Then…” Enishi gulped, “y-you don’t blame me?”

“Of course not. No one does.” She placed her hands square on his shoulders on. "Enishi, please don't blame yourself. Mother's death...it wasn't your fault."

Enishi started to yell. “It’s just - it's not fair! Why did she have to die?! She didn't deserve it...”

“I’m sorry, Enishi, I don’t know. Like I said, our mother wasn't the healthiest of people, dad told me about the hard time she went through while giving birth to me. The gods are cruel like that, I guess.” Tomoe combed his hair with her hand as he came to terms with what he had been told by his sister, his oh-so-caring sister. 

“I wish she was still alive.” Bemoaned Enishi, sounding rather deflated. Tomoe gave a subtle nod. 

“Me too. She would have adored you, and I'm sure that you would have loved her too. We...we all miss her, Enishi. I've had a hard time without mother, as well.”

That was it, Tomoe had literally no idea what else to say. At the very least, her little brother now seemed to understand that it wasn't his fault. That was the most important thing. 

Enishi gently placed his hand on hers.

“Sister, I...I just noticed something!" Was what Enishi gleefully declared.

"Hm? What?"

"Mother...she sounds a lot like you, doesn't she, sis?” Enishi asked.

She slightly raised her eyebrow. “Huh?” 

“You’re gentle and kind too. She sounds so much like you. I guess...I know where you get it from. Right? Is that why you look after me so much?”

 “Wha-er I…Enishi…” Tomoe always knew that her little brother cherished her a lot, but hearing him say it so openly was shocking to her.

“I still have you, don’t I?” He was smiling now. His voice was still raspy from his hysteric episode, but a glimmer of hope returned to his eyes as he said these words. Tomoe frowned somewhat, glancing at her brother with a somewhat sorrowful expression.

“I don’t know if I could ever live up to our mother...but I try my best. At least, I think I do.”

“Don’t worry,” Enishi gently squeezed her hand, “I think our mother would be really proud of you.”

“I-I don’t know…I try but I’m not sure. I'm no expert, Enishi. Before you, I had no experience dealing with children, I was only around eight years old when you came to us. So...”

Despite the fact that he was still releasing light tears, he appeared incredibly joyous.

“You do so much, and you’re always there for me, like now. I don’t say it much, but you’re so good to me and everyone else and you mean the world to me. I _know_ she would.”

“Enishi, you're such a sweet talker. You’re going to be very popular with the ladies when you become a man.” Her remake made Enishi giggle.

“No, really, trust me! Mother may be gone, a-and it's hard without her, but you've been looking after me for so long, I'd be lost without you. I…I love you lots, I really do...” Tomoe reacted to his display of affection by covering her mouth with her hand as she puffed in astonishment. 

Her brother's words had somewhat stunned her. It was uncommon for her work to get recognition, even from Enishi, though she never asked for it. She saw what she did as her duty, not a task that should garner compensation or recognition. But not only was her work being recognized, it was her own _brother_  that was giving her such high praise, it had endeared her, that her efforts were thought of so highly despite her shortcomings. She truly didn't know if her mother would be proud or not, but Enishi thinking so was all that mattered to her right now.

"Oh...um...Enishi, I..." Tomoe stuttered, failing to find the proper words.

"Thank you so much. I mean it."

Enishi's affection made her blush intensely, she properly felt cherished. All of a sudden, Tomoe felt the desire, the  _need_ , to express herself properly. 

“Enishi, do you mind if I tell you something?”

A pure glint inhabited his eyes as he looked lovingly at her. “Go ahead, sis.” 

_Oh no, nerves. Why am I hesitating now?!_

“Well, a-actually I’m not so sure myself, to be honest.”

“It doesn’t matter what it is, you can tell me  _anything_. It’s only fair.”' There was absolutely no hesitation in his voice, Tomoe truly had nothing to be afraid of. 

“Okay.” She changed her demeanour and tone to be more forthcoming. This was the rare occurrence of Tomoe opening up: “Enishi…your birth, mother’s death...to be honest, it was a confusing time. I felt many things that day. At first, it felt like the world was ending, I didn’t want to live in a world without mother, my mind couldn’t even begin to process a life without her. But…when you were born, I was  _so_  happy that she left behind a beautiful baby brother. I remember telling her that I hoped I was going to have a brother...it seems like my wish came true. We were all devastated when our mother left us, but we still had you; you alone made that awful time worth living through and you made me happy despite mother’s passing. You were such a cute baby, Enishi, I carried you around with me wherever I went. I thought I should fill mother’s shoes, I didn’t want you to grow up with no mother because I thought you needed one, Enishi. That’s why I’ve been looking after and raising you for years. To be honest, it hasn't been an easy job...you can be lots of trouble at times and your behaviour...and I do worry about you a lot. But, that's worth putting up with because you're such a good brother. So…what I'm trying to say is....thank you, Enishi. Thank you so much.”

“Sister, do you…really mean all that.?” 

“Of course, I do.”

"Ah, sorry,” he nervously chuckled, “I um - it's just that you just don’t say this kind of stuff often. It's good to hear you say it, though.”

“Enishi, I’m really sorry you feel that way. Your big sister isn't perfect either...I have huge problems with saying these things, but you’re so special to me. No matter what, please don’t think otherwise.” Tomoe held him the closest she could, in a caring and comforting embrace. Enishi remained perfectly still as she placed her lips on his temple. “Enishi, you're my darling little brother. I'll always love you.” 

Enishi’s lips were sealed, he simply hummed and commenced to cuddle up with his older sister upright on top of the futon. Another quietness came to both brother and sister, but it was a peaceful stillness. A very comfortable silence. Neither of them dared to interrupt this unbelievably tender moment, that is until Enishi noticed something in the corner of his eye, to which he raised his head over his sister's shoulder to get a better look.

“Hey, sister?”

“Hmm?”

“Is that tea?”

_Oh, shoot! The tea!_

“Oh no!"

"What's the matter?" 

"That was for you! It's probably gone cold by now...sorry about that."

After a short while, Enishi began to uncontrollably cackle at the top of his lungs and leaned into his big sister's arm. He sounded somewhat exhausted, but Tomoe knew that it came from the bottom of his heart. At first, all Tomoe could do is garner a sincere grin, but she was eventually caught in the tide of absurdity and began to giggle alongside her brother, her cheeks flushed as her eyes watered ever so slightly. Any other sound one could think of was cancelled out by their riotous laughter, as they let their own feelings flow freely just this once. To Tomoe, it was a nice feeling, it made her feel alive. Sometimes, the simplest things made her smile.

Still, Enishi didn't want to make his sister's efforts wasted; they broke off after their silly episode and he reached for the cup. Tomoe was shocked to see her brother chug down an entire cup of cold tea, but tea was his favourite drink in the world so it didn't matter too much.

"Good?" 

Enishi nodded enthusiastically. "The best!"

Later that evening, the siblings' father had returned from a long day of work, Tomoe encouraged her brother to approach him with more questions about their mother. The kind old man smiled at his request and brought them both into the sitting room, where he talked all night about their mother: How they met, their rather shoddy marriage ceremony and the many experiences they shared together. Nostalgia was certainly brewing in the air as everyone was distracted from their own worries and concerns and indulged in the memory of the eldest woman of the Yukishiro family. After literally hours of reconciliation, poor Enishi fell asleep in his own sister's lap, which eventually prompted her to whisk him away to his bedroom. Tomoe made sure to tuck her brother into bed properly, bringing the quilt around him for some much-needed warmth before adjusting his pillow for a  comfortable sleep. She departed with a warm kiss on the forehead, wishing him sweet dreams until it was time for him to awaken in the morning. Drained, yet incredibly fulfilled, she retreated to her own futon shortly after wishing father a good night. She slept peacefully with the knowledge that Enishi very much appreciated all of her efforts despite her flaws.

Such is family, dear reader. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's interesting how most major characters in Rurouni Kenshin lost their mothers at a young age, but I suppose that's common in anime. They took it one step further with the Yukishiros and promoted Tomoe to a surrogate parent...which must have been difficult for her, especially considering she was only like...ten when their mother died? Ah, so so tough, Tomoe deserves a medal. I somehow think Enishi was always destined to be some sort of mamma's boy, but it's taken to an entirely new level with his sister...hoo boy. 
> 
> Even if Remembrance never happened, even if Tomoe and Enishi grew up normally, I don't think Enishi would see her as 'just a sister' in all honesty. He'd probably always view her as his mother.


	10. Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enishi gets into trouble.

**Apology:**

"Yukishiro Enishi!" Tomoe's frankly frightening voice echoed throughout the household, navigating through the twisting hallways. Her voice carried an air of disappointment and anger, clearly, she had been upset at something. She found her way outside the garden, the sound of her voice had put a halt to his activities, his face turned pale white and his hair stood up due to fright. "We need to talk."

"Uh...what-what's wrong, sis? Do you need my help?" Enishi asked, trying to sound innocent. It wasn't working.

"Don't give me that, Enishi," her hands were square on her hips as she looked down at him, "you know  _exactly_ what you did. The more you deny it, the more trouble you'll be in. Come clean now, and I won't punish you any more than you need to be." 

He shrugged frantically. "Honestly, I don't know what you're talking about!" 

The lie was unconvincing to her. "Well, explain the poor boy, one of  _your friends_ , with a broken nose and his mother in _ou_ _r_ sitting room right now. He says you did it to him!"

"...Ah..." 

" _Ah_ , indeed. Enishi, how could you? I've raised you better than to hurt people like that, no less your friends! I can't begin to describe how disappointed in you I am, why must you not listen to what I have to say? This has happened a few too many times for my liking."

"But, sis," he interrupted, "he was calling me names! He made fun of me and the family! He was insulting you! I couldn't let him-"

"Enishi, that's  _no_ excuse to hurt someone like that!" Tomoe sighed and frowned at the same time, she changed her tone to be softer, but she still carried a sense of disappointment. "When someone is calling you...calling  _us_ names like that, the best thing to do is _ignore_ them. Turn the other cheek, Enishi, their words will have no impact if you don't let them. Do you understand?"

He growled and looked down at the rocks around him. "But...people just can't get away with saying things like that...they shouldn't say horrible things like that, sis! I thought I was doing you a favour..."

"And a broken nose is the answer? No, absolutely not. Enishi, you're going to come with me, we're going to go into the sitting room where that boy and his mother are and you're going to apologise for what you've done. I'll bring up the fact that he was verbally bullying you as well, but only  _after_ you've apologised. Do you understand?"

Enishi nodded slightly, refusing to look at Tomoe properly.

"I  _said_ , do you understand?"

"Ugghhh....yes!" Yelped back Enishi as he finally looked back up at her. He rose from the ground and dusted himself off, hanging his head low as his sister brought her arm around him. They both climbed onto the engawa and starting moving towards the sitting room. Both were incredibly quiet as they made their way there, not wanting to speak to one another in case either of them made the situation worse.

No one ever said she couldn't be strict when she needed to be.

Tomoe knew that Enishi was emotional and that he could get worked up easily, this was true. But she was truly disappointed in what he had done; she thought herself a failure of a guardian. If she couldn't convey that beating people up was wrong to her brother, who else could? Not only that, but Enishi was born into a  _samurai_  family,she thought he should know better and set an example. Nevertheless, Tomoe just couldn't escape the feeling that half the blame was on her shoulders...she truly did worry about her brother, what kind of future he would lead and she especially dreaded the period where he'd start to become a man. She certainly hoped that he would calm down and mellow as he hit manhood, becoming a respectable man of the Yukishiro household. But until then...he had a lot of work to do.

She opened the shouji door; sitting behind a table in the centre of the room was a small, brown-haired boy who covered his nose alongside a rather tall woman - taller than herself - adorned with a pink kimono. Tomoe guided her brother to the other side of the table, they sat down next to each-other, directly facing the boy and his mother. She placed her hands on her lap whilst Enishi gazed lazily at the floor, too ashamed to look at the victim of his violent ouburst. 

"Is that the boy that hit you?" The woman asked her son. He nodded in confirmation. 

"I'm really sorry for what my brother has done," Tomoe intercepted, "he should really know better. I've taught him better than to do that."

"It's not your fault," said the woman calmly, "sometimes what we say just does  _not_ get through to them at first. Just be grateful that his nose isn't broken, so-"

"I'm sorry? Is it not broken? I was under the assumption it was..." Tomoe interrupted. The woman shook her head and let out a jolly laugh.

"Oh, not at all! My son's nose is fine, it's just been bleeding. To be honest, he gets hurt easily, that's why he was in such a bad state when he came home to me earlier. Honestly, all I ask for is an apology from your little brother."

Tomoe nudged her brother's shoulder lightly. "Did you hear that, Enishi? His nose will be fine so you'd best count yourself lucky. But you still need to apologize to your friend for hurting him like that. Come on, now."

Enishi was silent for a while, as all parties present looked at him in anticipation of what he would say.  After a moment, he raised his head and looked squarely at the boy he had hurt.

"Look, I'm...I'm really sorry I hit you. I didn't mean to...I was stupid and I shouldn't let myself get angry like that, I should know better..." 

The boy nodded head in silence as he leaned into his mother's arm. Tomoe gave a quick nod to Enishi as a sign of good work, that he had done the right thing.

"Apologies, but my brother told me that your son was calling him names and insulting our family...which is why he punched him in the first place. I'm not excusing my brother at all, but I thought you should know." 

"Oh...is that true?" The woman asked her son. He blushed slightly but nodded in confirmation. Her face turned slightly pale as she covered her mouth. "Oh, dear...I'm very sorry about that. He should know better than to call people names. Please say sorry to this young boy here, come on now!"

"S-sorry, I didn't mean what I said about your sister..." The young boy muffled. Enishi grinned at his apology, quickly rising to his feet.

"It's all water under the bridge now, right?! Come on, stop moping about it! Let's go outside and play some more!" Enishi gleefully exclaimed to the young boy. Whilst he was still covering his nose, everyone could tell he was smiling now as he himself stood up and followed Enishi outside to the garden. The two women were left in the sitting room, directly facing each other. The woman was giggling to herself but Tomoe showed no such expression.

The woman sighed. "Bless those two, they haven't known each other for long but...ah, boys. One minute they're at each other's throats, the next minute they're inseparable. Don't you think so?"

"Hm? Oh, I suppose..." Her voice wandered off, she didn't really know what to say. Thankfully, the woman seemed to notice this because she spurred on a new conversation. 

"So...you're his big sister, then?"

"Oh, uh...yes," she replied, "we don't have a mother anymore, she died shortly after giving birth to my brother. In a way, I took her place and I look after him the best I can, so I'm practically his mother..."

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry for your loss...but that's so sweet and kind of you. At least he has someone to look up to, I think a boy would be lost without a mother-figure to look up to."

"Yes, he's...very fond of me, perhaps he's too attached to me, I don't really know, but he does love his big sister. Do you think he...?" 

The older woman's face became soft; she looked at Tomoe with a fonder expression, folding her arms together. "With no mother, it's no wonder he's so attached to you. Don't worry about it, dear, all little boys are different from each other...it's his special way of showing he truly cares about you. You shouldn't be too worried about it, I'm sure he will grow out of it in the years to come, but you're special to him for a reason. Please don't be too worried about it, he just needs some time. My first son was very attached to me as well and he grew out of it, he's a fine young man as well."

"I suppose...but I worry about him a lot. Am I doing the right thing? Am I raising him correctly? I'm not so sure...it feels like these scenarios happen far too often..."

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of joyful laughter emerging from the garden; the boy's mother simply smiled in response, but Tomoe's expression still remained neutral. 

"Your brother...he's not a bad kid, he just needs the time to grow up. He's only a boy, let him find his own way in the world. But please be aware, you will probably never be just a sister to him, he will always look up to you as a mother...even when he becomes a man and finds his own way in life. Whenever he needs help, he'll always look up to you. As his guardian...do you think you'll be able to live with that?"

Tomoe looked at the mother, wondering why on earth she was telling her all of this anyway. Maybe it was the need for advice; a woman such has her obviously had more knowledge of these things than she ever did. Maybe she just needed someone to talk to about all this, everyone else in her life couldn't possibly begin to relate to her parently troubles and woes. The woman didn't seem to mind, however, and continued to smile at her. Tomoe gathered her thoughts and began to speak.

"I...I think so. I want him to be happy and to have a good life, but it's been tough without our mother. I always want to be there for him, though, so...yes, I think I will be able to."

"That's all anyone could ever ask from you. We're only human, none of us are perfect. As long as you try your best...it's all anyone could ever ask of you."

"Yes, thank you for the advice." Tomoe came to realize how bad a host she was being and composed herself, standing to leap into action. "Sorry, this conversation has gotten the better of me. Would you like some tea?"

The mother nodded. "Thank you so much, dear."

 

 

*********

 

"I'm going to settle down now, alright sis?" Stated Enishi as he peeked into Tomoe's room, the latter was at her illuminated desk, brush in hand.

"Alright. Good night, Enishi." As her brother dismissed himself, she set her worn brush to the paper of the diary and wrote the following words:

_Enishi got into a lot of trouble today, he got into a fight with one of his friends and punched him in the face. They've made up now and the boy's mother seems to be alright about it, but I can't help but be worried about my brother. I know I've said this before, but he can be a real handful. Some days, he's the sweetest boy you could ever imagine, that's the version of him I wish was around all the time. Other days...well, he's obviously a lot of trouble, getting into fights, throwing childish tantrums...I know he's still young and has a lot to learn, but he can get worked up over the smallest of things. Sometimes, I think he wouldn't be like this if our mother was still alive and he was raised by someone with more experience...I don't know. I talked to the boy's mother today, she seemed to think I'm doing a good job at taking care of Enishi, but I honestly don't know anymore. The uncertainty is eating away at me, I don't want to be a burden on anyone and I want Enishi to be happy and well-behaved. That woman told me that Enishi would probably never see me as 'just a sister', that's how she put it, that I would always be like a mother to him, even when he's fully grown up. But sometimes, I feel he is too attached to me, more than he should. Is that my fault? Is that his fault? Is it anyone's fault? I just don't know anymore. It's much too stressful._

She paused for a moment; Tomoe thought her entry was coming off much too cynical. She filled her mind with images of her brother's cheesy smiles, his stupid laughs and warm grins, his foolish antics and displays of affection, his genuinely _sincere_ moments when he was the best little brother in the world. She put her brush back to her diary.

 _Well, I suppose it doesn't matter so much. I do love him, though, from the depths of my heart. He means a lot to me because he was there when mother died, but that's exactly why I always worry about him. I sometimes worry he doesn't truly know how much I care about him, and that he doesn't fully take in what I teach him. I only do and think these things because I want him to grow up happy and live a good life...because he makes me happy, as well, and he deserves a good life. Sometimes, my heart truly aches for him, but I could never ask for a better brother...a better son, maybe. I don't really view him as my son, but I am practically his mother at this point. I_ _f I ever have children of my own, I'll use the invaluable lessons I've learned from raising my brother, I want to be the best I can be. I just wish he listened to me more often, though. I think he's an outstanding little boy when he behaves himself, the best baby brother I could ever ask for. Oh, I'm repeating myself over and over again, my mind's in disarray. I think I need to have a talk with him...about today...about everything._

After she finished her entry, Tomoe felt motivated to talk with her brother. She closed her diary and took a candle from the desk, exiting her dimly lit room and walking down the engawa, stopping outside the entrance to Enishi's room and gently tapping the shouji.

"Enishi? Are you still awake?" She asked softly.

"...Yea, I am." Enishi answered back, Tomoe noted the exhaustion in his voice.

"Do you mind if I come in?"

A long pause.

"...Yea, you can come in."

Tomoe gripped the thin door and slid it to the side, she entered his room and shut the door behind her before kneeling beside his futon. Enishi sat upright and rubbed his eyes.

"Sorry...did I wake you up?"

"No...it's hard to get to sleep for some reason."

"Ah...I see. Listen Enishi, I want to talk to you about today," she breathed in, unsure of herself, but eventually let her breath go and allowed herself to speak, "listen, I'm still disappointed in what you did today, I don't want you to grow up to be violent. You can be a good boy when you put your mind to it, but sometimes you can also be a lot of trouble. I want you to know that I don't hate you or anything like that, but I do wish you behaved yourself better at times. Do you understand?"

He blushed and scratched his cheek. "Yes, sis..."

"More importantly, Enishi, I talked to that boy's mother today, and....well...when you grow up and when I find my own way, we won't be living together like this. You'll have to find your own way in life and look after yourself. I'll still be here for you, but it will mostly fall to you as a man. Do you understand? There'll be a time where you will be on your own, we're still years away from that, but it'll happen. I want you to take everything I've taught you to heart, and live a good and happy life. Is that alright?"

Enishi looked blankly at his sister for a while, eventually nodding out of confirmation. "I understand...I feel really bad about what I did today though. I don't ever want to upset you, I just want to see you happy. I'm deeply sorry about what I did."

Tomoe used her free hand to brush his hair. "I know...but sometimes you can do really stupid things. You need to learn how to control your impulses..." 

"Okay, I'll try."

She leaned over to hold him in her arms, giving him a sincere hug. "Good...goodnight, Enishi. Sleep well."

Tomoe let go of her brother, reaching for the lamp before her sleeve was claimed by Enishi's hand. 

"Wait, uh...before you go...could you stay here for a bit? It's hard for me to get to sleep and I'd feel more comfortable if you were here..."

"Oh...of course, Enishi." 

Tomoe set the candle down by her side and extended her arm out, travelling between the layers of the futon to find Enishi's hand and squeezing it lightly. Enishi grinned and looked at his sister warmly.

"Thank you. Good night, sis."

Enishi slowly shut his eyes, continuing to smile as he promptly found himself in the land of sleep. Tomoe made sure he was comfortable before properly pulling the quilt over his sleeping form, picking up her candle and swiftly taking her leave for the night.


	11. Celebration II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's now someone else's birthday.

**Celebration II:**

"I'll wake Enishi up now. Is that alright, Dad?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes, of course it is."

Tomoe gracefully bowed and excused herself from the kitchen, sliding the shoji cleanly open and closing it quietly behind her as she stepped through the doorframe. She would be waking her brother up - soon - but not quite yet. First, she had to make a little detour. She tiptoed down the hallway, careful not to make any sudden or loud noises, and stopped outside the entrance to her room before moving through the doorway. She immediately went to the corner of the room and knelt down to retrieve a small box, all neatly wrapped up with a bow.

Today was, of course, Enishi's birthday. He was eight, so she made an effort to save up as much as she could to afford a substantial present for her brother. Other years, he had settled with a small amount of pocket money or perhaps something as basic as a pinwheel, but Tomoe wanted to give him something special this year. She hoped he would like the present...but somehow she knew that he would like anything given by her. 

The box was cupped in her hands whilst she rose from the floor and once again climbed through the doorway, finding herself in the hallways of the house yet again. She skulked over to her brother's room, the door was shut tight. Tomoe placed her palm on his shoji - carefully - and pushed it to the side, no additional or unnecessary noise was as made she strode into his room, placing the box on the floor behind her, but not before sitting down herself, right in front of his futon. Enishi was - thankfully to Tomoe - still fast asleep, laying neatly on his back whilst the quilt of the futon travelled up to his neck, tucked neatly around his sleeping figure. His tiny mouth was oh-so-slightly agape as he steadily breathed in-and-out; little hums escaped him as he breathed. Enishi's head was tilted somewhat, for he was indirectly facing his big sister, even in sleep. 

 _I keep forgetting how peaceful he looks when he sleeps,_  she thought to herself, before remembering what she was here for. Tomoe extended a white-sleeved arm and tapped his shoulder softly. At first, this garnered no real response, so she tapped his shoulder more firmly. All she seemed to be doing was slowly coaxing him out of his sleepy state, so Tomoe opted to tap his shoulder once more, heavier than the two previous attempts. That definitely did something, because Enishi's right eye slowly opened to the halfway point, taking in the morning light piercing his room. 

"Mmm." He grunted, flipping over so his back was facing Tomoe, bringing the quilt with him. He still hadn't comprehended his situation, not at all. He just needed some more nudging. 

Tomoe sighed.  _You can be so lazy sometimes,_ she uttered in her mind. 

"Enishi, it's time to wake up." Tomoe whispered into his ear, nudging the back of his shoulder with her arm once again.

He muttered in his sleep. "Just five more minutes please."

"No. Wake up, please. It's morning."

Her brother grumpily groaned at the prospect of having to wake up, but he flipped back over to face Tomoe, eyes half open. He quickly remembered where he was, and came to notice who it was that was sitting directly in front of him. 

"Oh," he yawned, "good morning, sis. How are you this morning?" 

"I'm fine, thank you," Tomoe replied, "did you sleep well?" 

"I guess so, thanks."

She paused. "Enishi...do you remember what today is?"

Enishi was sitting upright now, rubbing his eyes as she spoke. After he had finished and she had asked that question, Enishi put his finger to his own chin, covering his lip, and tried to deduce what she meant. Clueless as ever, he shook his head, disappointing her somewhat.

"Uhhhh....no...?" As if a sudden burst of lightning had scorched his brain, he quickly retracted that statement. "Wait, how did I forget?! It's my-"

 _Ah, that's better_.

She quickly put her finger to his lips.

"Happy birthday, Enishi. I can't believe you're eight already...time flies, doesn't it?" After her interruption, Tomoe reached behind where she was sitting for the wrapped box, showing it to her little brother. "I know we're not exactly flowing with money, but I thought that you'd like something nice this year...I've been saving up for this for a while."

"Wow! But honestly, you didn't have to..." his voice trailed off, sounding slightly awkward, "spending so much money on just me? I don't know...it's only a birthday..."

"No, it's fine, Enishi. I insist. Please, open it."

Enishi reluctantly took the wrapped box from Tomoe's hand before placing it on his lap. He gently tugged the ribbons as the shroud that covered the paper wrap disassembled in front of his very eyes He then tore the paper apart to be greeted with only a small box not much bigger than his own palm. Excited yet nervous, he took the lid off the box and placed it on the bedside. What he was greeted by was something he would never expect in a million years. 

He reached into the box and pulled out a particularly shiny pendant, it was a circular metal disk hanging off thread, but in the centre of that disk was carved the character for his own name. The very sight of it encouraged him to widen his eyes out of sheer surprise at first, which quickly gave way to joy and excitement as he gave the cheesiest smile imaginable, his teeth were visible and front-and-centre. 

"Wow! You really got this for me?!" 

In response, she nodded. "I had it made especially for you...it cost quite a bit of money, but our father didn't mind considering I was the one who saved money for it. I...I hope it was worth the-"

Tomoe was swiftly cut off by her own brother, who reached up to his big sister and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as his head rested on her shoulder. The pendant was still in his hand, which was now against her upper back, whilst his free hand clung to her kimono. At first, she audibly gasped out of shock for what had happened, unsure of what to do. However, she quickly accepted it and returned the favour by hugging him back. The two of them remained in these huddled positions and simply sat there for a while, savouring the tender moment. Light tears formed in Enishi's eyes as he continued to smile and Tomoe opted to rub his back gently; she had felt like she had done a  _good_ thing...the right thing. It was an indescribable feeling, but it felt nice.

Tomoe eventually withdrew from their position before cupping Enishi's cheeks in her hands.They looked each-other square in the eyes. 

"So...I take it that you like it, Enishi?" She asked. 

He wiped a tear from his own face. "It's amazing, I don't really know what to say. Thank you so much, sis!"

"Oh, I'm glad. Like I said, happy birthday."

The moment was practically  _ruined_ by the sound of Enishi's stomach grumbling. Embarrassed, he innocently giggled whilst a warm red blush rose to his face. Tomoe made no such reaction, continuing to look at him as if he had done nothing wrong. He eventually stopped smiling and his stomach rumbled again, he clasped it and released a pained grunt. 

Tomoe placed her hands on his shoulders. 

"You must very hungry, right?" Tomoe inquired. 

"Umm...maybe..." His stomach growled once more. 

"Not to worry, father and I have been making breakfast, it should be ready by now. Let's go, Enishi." 

 

*********

 

It was nearly bed-time as Enishi sat on Tomoe's lap; the two of them, adorned in sleeping yukata, were placed on the porch as they gazed at the evening stars in all of their twinkling bright glory. She stroked his hair tentatively, continuously amazed at how messy it could get. Enishi held a cup of warm green tea in his hands which he periodically took graceful sips from. The pendant was around his neck and both were covered with a purple scarf.

"Did you have a nice day? She asked, finally breaking the silence. 

He nodded. "It was amazing, thank you so much." 

To the both of them, breakfast had never tasted so good before; their morning meal was an assortment of all their favourite foods, and then some. Their father had put an extreme amount of effort into preparing food for his own children, especially considering it was his dear son's birthday. The kind old man had also gotten his son something special for his birthday: a mask, from an expert mask-maker in the market. According to their father, it was supposed to resemble a tiger. After breakfast, the rest of the day had been spent normally, as Enishi had been whisked off to the market with his big sister to help with the weekly food-shop, the household couldn't take a break just because it was Enishi's birthday, after all. He ended up lugging around a bucket of tofu and a bucket of fish, which had definitely been a strain on his back. By the time the late afternoon came around, Enishi tried his hand in helping his sister make dinner, which generated some success. She had told him that he had done such a good job, considering he was only eight and couldn't even properly perform calligraphy yet. Kiyosato Akira, Tomoe's childhood sweetheart, had come over for dinner as well, wishing Tomoe's brother a very happy birthday and giving him a lovely pinwheel as a sign of good will. Then, before he went home, the three of them spent a couple of hours playing a whole host of games. All in all, Enishi was quite happy with his eighth birthday, it had been the best birthday of his life.

Enishi continued to glare at the night sky, at all its marvels and mysteries. Tomoe, meanwhile, moved him so he was a few inches closer to her in order to secure his own position. Too many times had he fallen off her lap, face first into the ground below them. Just a safety precaution. Her action had garnered a surprised grunt from Enishi, but nothing more. He was too enamoured with the sky.

"That's good, I'm glad you enjoyed your birthday." 

"Oh, it was the best birthday ever!" 

"That's wonderful..." Tomoe looked up at the shining lights with her little brother; she was pleasantly surprised at how clear the sky was that night, as tiny dots twinkled above them continuously.  The cool evening breeze made her shiver somewhat, but the shawl that enshrouded her and Enishi was enough to keep them warm for now. Enishi must have noticed, because he turned around and offered her some of his tea, presumably to warm her up.

"Here, you can finish this." Remarked Enishi, a warm expression on his face.

"Mmn. Thanks." She accepted his offer and took the cup from his hands, bringing it up to her lips and sipping on the warm and sweet liquid. It travelled down her throat and warmed her insides, making her hum in delight. Despite holding the cups, her arms were still around Enishi. He lazily leaned backwards, resulting in the back of his head coming into contact with her shoulder; Tomoe shifted the shawl as to cover her brother better. 

"You're comfy." He blurted out. Tomoe's lips tugged to form a smile before she played with his hair again. "You're really comfy!"

"Enishi, you're so silly." 

"I know, but admit it, you like it when I'm being silly."

"Mmm. I suppose. Maybe."

Her little brother bombastically yawned, leaning further back into her. Tomoe took a sip from the cup.

"It's getting late," she stated, "you should go to bed soon, Enishi." 

"Can't I stay here for a bit longer?" He asked, practically pouting. 

"...Alright, a little bit longer, but no complaining when your time's up, okay?" 

He nodded, sinking back into a comfortable position. 

Enishi was right, today  _was_ a good day...a brilliant day, in fact. It wasn't often that Tomoe could relax and spend time celebrating a special occasion, so she was glad she could this year. She was grateful that effort put into his birthday this year had paid off...she wanted him to live a normal and happy life, one in which he could properly celebrate his own birthday. However, the family's finances rarely let them celebrate special occasions in any intense of flamboyant manner; the Yukishiro household usually only had enough money to afford food and the most basic of necessities, so they never went hungry and were never on the brink of poverty, but she often thought this unfair. Sometimes, Tomoe wished they had enough money to lead a more...eventful life, but that was just her selfish side thinking. At the end of the day, they had a roof over their heads and enough food to live comfortably, so she wasn't really entitled to complain all that much. 

Her incessant pondering made her fail to recognise up until now that Enishi was fast asleep on her lap, his head rested against her whilst he breathed lightly, not too dissimilar from how he had been this morning. He clung to her sleeve like a needy infant, the shawl enveloped him and gave him plenty of warmth.

_You're unbelievable sometimes._

She rolled her eyes, finished the rest of the tea in one gulp before putting the cup down and scooped him up in her arms, careful not to wake him up from his peaceful slumber. He just wasn't as heavy as he should have been. As the shawl still covered them both, Tomoe carried her brother to his own room, gently propping him down on his futon, making sure his head laid comfortably on the pillow and pulled the quilt over him to keep him nice and warm. And so, he was back to where he was at the start of the day, blissfully asleep and unaware of his own surroundings. 

"Good night, Enishi."

After tucking him into bed and giving him a warm smooch on the forehead, she retrieved the cup from the porch made a detour to the kitchen to return it before making her way to the living room, where her father was sitting quietly, reading a dusty tome.

"Hello, dad." She said bluntly. The old man looked up from what he was reading to see his daughter, smiling at her in return.

"Hello there," He replied, "how are things?"

"Fine, thank you...Enishi's in bed now, I'll be excusing myself soon as well." 

"Wait, before you go, I want to thank you."

"Huh?" Genuine surprise overtook her as he said those words.

"Well...he had a good time today, I could tell. You do a lot to take care of him and make him feel happy, so thank you. To be truthful, I think I'd be completely lost without all of your help." 

"I try my best, dad, but thank you. Goodnight, I'll see you in the morning."

"Of course. Goodnight. "

She bowed respectfully and left the room before making her way to the comfort of her own futon. She'd be lying if she said that today wasn't a bit tiring; right now, she wanted to be tucked between some sheets and get some much-needed rest. After opening the shoji to her room and chucking her shawl to one side, she practically collapsed on top of her futon, bringing the quilt up to her neck and turning to her side, her favourite sleeping position. As the events of the day went through her mind, her lips formed to make a smile as she was taken to the sleeping world, to the land of dreams. 

 


	12. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Make the pain stop!

**Hurt:**

"Yes, thank you very much. I'll see you tomorrow."

These are the words Tomoe uttered before dismissing an old friend of hers; they were both outside at the front entrance; it was time for the woman to leave. Tomoe bowed before waving, it was her own way of saying farewell to her friend, a farewell she gracefully returned. Now, it was just her in the house; her father was busy, and her brother was out playing. She could trust her brother like that; he knew his way around the streets of Edo, and would always find his way home, despite her worries. Still, she imposed a strict curfew, and that was the hour before dinner, no later. If he disobeyed said curfew, she would punish him...somehow. In all honesty, her methods of punishment had been lost to her, because it had been _ages_ since Enishi disobeyed such a curfew. In fact, he would usually come home before the curfew...she supposed he just liked her company  _that much_.

Tomoe promptly excused herself, retreating into the house and closing the door behind her. Tomoe first went to get a fire going in the bathhouse before filling the bathtub with water, she could use a bath. She then found herself heading towards the sitting room, picking up a book along the way and absorbing herself into its pages. It was one of her father's old books, a collection of hundred-year-old poems and writings. She had to admit, most of it was absolute tripe that just went over her head, but some of it was nice. Besides, she was only reading to pass time, it was rather lonely in the house, all on her own. She wished she had some company. Contrary to what most people assumed, she did enjoy the company of people...at least, the people she  _liked_. Even if it was just her and one other person in a room, silently occupied by their own tasks, that was still enough for her. 

Flicking through the pages of the tome, she almost failed to notice the slamming of the front door.

_Oh, is dad home already? Or Enishi?_

She closed the dusty book and placed it on the table before rising to her feet, taking deliberate strides out of the room and towards the source of this loud disturbance. Her feet took her to the front door, to be greeted by a familiar sight.

"Oh, hello, Enishi. How are you-" She suddenly paused at the sight of two eight-year-olds, one was carrying a poor, bruised,  _battered_ child, both legs of his hakama were torn and his right leg was drenched in blood as if he had been stabbed by a knife. Trails of blood pooled from the source and wandered down his leg. Both his legs were wobbling tremendously, he couldn't even stand on his own, without his friend's help. Then she realized that this injured boy was _Enishi_. Tomoe reacted by covering her mouth whilst her eyes widened, shocked at the sorry state of her brother... _very_ sorry state, he was actually crying too. "Oh gods! What happened, Enishi?!"

"He's hurt, miss!" His friend screamed. "He's hurt bad!"

Her brother wailed. "It hurts! It hurts so much!" He sniffled and sobbed. "Please - it hurts! So much!" He let out a little screech as his legs gave way and he dropped to the floor, falling from the grip of his friend. His older sister rushed towards him, scooping him up into her arms and holding onto him tightly, he was lighter than one would think. 

"No no no no. Shh. Shh. It's going to be okay, you're going to be alright. I'll sort you out, Enishi." She managed to reach up to his cheek with her hand, using it to wipe the tears from his face. "Please don't cry, Enishi. You're going to be alright. Shh. Shh."

"Is he going to be alright?" His friend asked.

"I'll sort him out. Can you please find a doctor? Thank you so much!"

The child nodded and ran out of the house as Tomoe carried her little brother towards his room. What he needed, she figured, was immediate attention to that gaping wound of his. She could worry about cleaning him up later, but if she did nothing about that leg, who knows what would happen to him. She attempted to comfort him by giving him the odd, light kiss on the forehead, but it did nothing to prevent him from whimpering and sobbing. It was better than nothing, she figured.

After she used her foot to open the shoji to his room, Tomoe carefully placed him on the futon. "Wait there," she commanded, "I won't be long."

He nodded, still grunting and weeping. 

At that, Tomoe scurried off into the storeroom, trying to find  _something_ to cover up that awful wound of his. She went through the numerous cupboards like it was no one's business, scanning their contents, realizing there was nothing of value in them and slamming them shut. She could still hear her brother's pained cries for help, so she went through the cupboards with newly found haste. Eventually, she found a wrap of bandages at the back of one of the cupboards. 

"Perfect." 

She grabbed the bandages and slammed the door shut before standing back up and heading to the bathhouse - how lucky was she for starting a fire? - to retrieve a bucket of hot water and a towel, making sure to dampen it beforehand. They had nothing else to treat the wound, they could always buy more towels anyway. 

Tomoe marched back to her brother's room, setting the bucket, towel and bandages on the bedside as soon as she arrived. She knelt over him and stretched his leg out, which garnered a pained groan from him.

"Ow!" He yelped.

"Sorry...this will hurt a bit, as well. I need to clean that wound." His big sister dunked the towel in the bucket of hot water, wringing it before covering Enishi's wounded leg with it. He gritted his teeth, letting out a high pitched moan as the towel absorbed the blood and filth, cleaning the wood in the process. The towel stained with blood and dirt...but it wasn't as bad as she was expecting. 

"Ngaaahh...ngghhh...uhhh..." Enishi growled. "Sis, this really hurts..."

"I know, hang in there." She removed the towel from his leg and chucked it in the bucket before grabbing his leg and levelling it on her lap. This garnered a light protest from Enishi, but he quickly accepted it. Tomoe reached over for the bandages and began wrapping them around the wound concisely. Round and round those wraps went, clinging to his skin tightly before she offed it with an elegant knot. "There...can you move your leg?" 

He tried to make motions with his wounded leg, it was circling, but he seemed to be lacking the strength to move it properly. Tomoe sighed. At least he had stopped crying. 

There was a pitter-patter at the front door. She rushed to the front door.

"Oh, thank you so much for coming."

 

*********

 

Enishi, then, found himself tucked neatly into his futon, his sister by his side, keeping watch over him. The doctor had removed Tomoe's makeshift bandaging and gave his leg proper treatment. 

"You were smart to treat him as you did. Please don't worry too much, he's hurt his legs pretty badly, he must have taken a horrible fall, but there's no permanent damage. Honestly, the best thing he can do right now is to try not to move around too much, but he should be fine within a week or so. He will still be able to bathe like he normally does, even with that dressing for his leg. Once he feels a bit better, try and encourage him to walk around the house, so strength can return to his legs. And make sure he eats plenty of nutritious food."

"I see. Thank you very much."

After the kind doctor took his leave, Tomoe crossed her arms and looked at her brother, concerned. 

"Enishi, how did this happen?"

"...A hill...a very steep hill...I fell down..."

"You mean you were pushed?"

Reluctantly, he nodded.

A fire grew in her chest; Tomoe was never one to get angry, but the thought of someone going out of their way to hurt Enishi like that...well, it hurt  _her_ too. She didn't care if she was being overprotective because now Enishi was confined to his futon all day, barely able to move his legs due to the immense pain he was going through. If she ever found out who did this, she would do everything in her power to bring them to justice. Until then, her brother was stuck like this. This...wasn't going to be easy. She hoped Enishi wouldn't make things too difficult for her. She hoped. 

"Do you need anything?" Softly asked Tomoe, squeezing his hand lovingly.

"No...but can you please stay here with me?"

"Yes, of course."

And at that, all built-up tension and pain seemed to immediately leave Enishi's body as his lips raised to form a smile before he laid back down on the futon, his hand still claimed by his older sister. He rested his head against the pillow and stared at the ceiling; Tomoe was wondering if he planned to find sleep at this time, though that seemed unlikely at this point, for Enishi didn't sleep well during the day and usually found that just laying down is peaceful enough respite from his daily life. Tomoe began using her pinky finger to circle his palm gently, which took her brother aback somewhat, but he eventually got used to it and made quiet humming noises. Before he knew it, she was grasping his palm with both of her hands, enveloping it with her warm and soothing touch. He wore a peaceful face, one which screamed ' _I appreciate the company_ _, sis'_ , he almost forgot about the sharp pains in his legs, back and face. 

"Aaarrgghh," he suddenly blurted out, startling his sister, "how are we gonna explain all this to dad?! He's probably gonna get mad at me."

She began to stroke his hair. "No, he won't, Enishi. Dad's not like that, it wasn't even your fault, anyway. Stop worrying." 

"Ahh...alright, I just don't want to upset him, he's overworked so much as it is."

"What am I going to do with you..." Then she remembered. The bath.  "Enishi, I think you need a bit of a wash. How about a bath?"

"Huh? Uh, alright..."

Before he could respond properly, she was already gone. Tomoe approached the bathhouse to get a fire going before filling tub with water. It took a while for the water to heat up, but it eventually got warm enough. She darted back to his room and almost as soon as he saw her again, he was already in his sister's arms and they were heading for the bathhouse. She opened the door and took him into the main bathing room, placing him upright on the floor, she rolled up her sleeves and checked the temperature of the water. Just right, it seemed. How lucky. She faced Enishi awkwardly, before turning her back to him.

"Take your clothes off, Enishi...I'm not looking..."

 _Oh gods_ , she screamed internally,  _this is way too embarrassing._ If this was literally any over scenario, Enishi would be able to climb into the bathtub on his own, so she could be spared from any unnecessary details before helping him. But not with that busted leg...what the hell was she going to do?

She could hear the rustling of clothes, he seemed to be getting along fine. Good, there was  _no way_  she would help him with something like that if she didn't have to. Her eyes remained shut. A brief moment passed, then the noises stopped.

"Um..I'm ready..." He called out shyly. In response, she turned around - making sure not to look  _down_  - and scooped him up before frantically dumping him in the bathtub.

 _Phew_. The water covered everything she didn't need to see. This was fine. 

Enishi winced in reaction to the hot water, but he eventually sunk into a comfortable position. However, an embarrassed blush rose to his face, he tried his best to cover himself in the water, even though he didn't really need to. Rolling her eyes, Tomoe grabbed a brush and began to help him wash properly. She went to scrub his back with the brush and soap, making to sure to rid him of any dirt, and careful not to touch his bruises too rough less she caused him unnecessary pain. Enishi used his own brush to wash himself off, deploying the exact same techniques; he made little circling motions across his upper body, he would occasionally squint at the pain he was causing himself, but it wasn't too intense. After she was done with his back, Tomoe turned his head and began cleaning his face, making sure to wipe all that mud and dirt away.

"Enishi, you're absolutely filthy." She remarked.

"Sorry."

No matter. Within a matter of minutes, he seemed relatively clean; most of the grime had been removed but he was still covered in bruises, not to mention that god-awful leg wound. Tomoe stood up and patted her brother's head. 

"You ready to get out?"

"Um...yea?"

She scooped him back into her arms, propping him on the floor again and giving him the towel.

"I'll be back with some fresh clothes in a minute," she spoke, picking up Enishi's old, dirty clothes and very careful not to look at him directly, "can you dry yourself on your own?"

"Oh, I'll be fine."  

She bowed gracefully and retreated, off to fetch Enishi a perfectly sized sleeping yukata. He wasn't going to leave the house anytime soon, in fact, she was going to put him straight back to bed as soon as they were done in the bathhouse; she didn't want him to do anything stupid, his safety came first. After she had retrieved his clothing - and had thrown his dirty clothes on top of the pile of laundry - Tomoe dashed back to the bathhouse, opening the door to the main chamber and throwing the robe at Enishi without looking at him.

"Can you reach it, Enishi?"

"...Yea." He replied.

"Can you put it on?"

"...I should be fine."

Once again, she heard the rustlings of robes and moving body parts, as Enishi struggled to put the bathrobe on completely. The noises stopped soon enough.

"I'm ready...can I go back to bed now?"

And so, he did. The rest of the evening consisted of Tomoe watching over her little brother, making sure he was fed properly, checking he was comfortable, assuring him he was safe. That no more harm would come to him under her care, that he should simply rest for the day and that his big sister would provide him with anything he needed. Him? Enishi was just happy that his sweet sister was looking after him, as she always did. He was just so happy to be with her in that moment. And Tomoe? Well...she had to admit that part of her enjoyed spoiling her sweet little brother like this, but she was still immensely concerned for him. She wished the other kids would just leave him alone.

"What kids did this to you?" She asked whilst stroking this hair.

"Um...just some boys."

"Please, don't mix with those boys again. I don't want you to be hurt."

 _Do I spoil him too much?_ She wondered as she looked at her little brother's resting form. He looked so peaceful. She shook her head and sighed.  _Maybe I do?_ _I guess it doesn't matter right now, he's hurt badly and needs my attention._

"Thank you, sis." A high-pitched voice called out from the futon.

"Huh?"

"For looking after me."

The simple gesture made her lips tug into a subtle smile, and she nodded. 


	13. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tomoe's little brother doesn't take the news too well.

**Fear:**

"Enishi, please listen to me-" Tomoe pleaded, but her little brother was having none of it.

"NO! HOW DARE YOU!" He whined, smashing his clenched fists on the table, causing the cups to rattle and shake, so close to falling they were. It was an ugly noise, a gross display. His cheeks were bright red and his eyes were shut tight as he screeched and wailed. It was all deeply troubling. 

"You're acting childish, Enishi...you're embarrassing me," Tomoe looked down to the carpet and frowned, "please, stop this and let me explain." 

"NO! YOU CAN'T, SIS! YOU JUST CAN'T! IT'S NOT FAIR!"

To stop him from wreaking havoc, his big sister gripped his fist tightly and stared him in the eyes, piercing his confused and delicate soul like a spear to the skin. Enishi grunted at what she did and even attempted to break free of her hold. But now  _she_ was having none of it. He had pushed her too far.

" _Stop it."_ Tomoe put extra emphasis on those words. She could see goosebumps rise on her brother's skin, but he didn't stop his tantrum, not yet. He wasn't done. 

"You can't do this, sis!" Enishi screamed back at the top his lungs, on the verge of tears. His tone was brimmed with both anger and fright, it startled and confused his older sister. She simply shook her head.

"You don't understand, Enishi."

"No, sis! Please, don't do this to me! JUST DON'T DO THIS!"

" _I'm not doing anything to you_ ," his big sister tried to reason, " _stop."_

He roared furiously, he was a tiger with prey in its sight. "YOU'RE LEAVING ME! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME! YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE! THAT'S WHY YOU AGREED TO MARRY HIM, RIGHT? I DON'T MAKE YOU HAPPY ANYMORE!"

Her patience was nearly gone by now. Her tone intensified."Just  _please,_  listen to me, Enishi! _For once_ , please just...just _stop_ , and listen to me! It's not what you think!"

"YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME!" His unbridled yet impotent rage gave way to a cocktail of complicated feelings: Sorrow. Irrationality. Frustration. Fear.

Fear. 

Tomoe didn't show it, but his outburst both frustrated and upset her. Frustrated her, because he was being extremely silly and childish, because he should know better than to throw such a grossly immature tantrum now that he was eight years old. Frustrated, because it reminded her of her own shortcomings as his mother-figure, at her own failures in raising her brother. Frustrated, because she knew deep down that Enishi  _did_ know better, but instead chose to swim in his own sense of irrational fear and anger. Upset, because despite his childish tantrum, Enishi's feelings were...not exactly 'normal', but understandable, because she knew how dear she was to him, and felt slightly guilty about it. Upset, because she hated to see her brother upset, to see him in this confused and fearful state. Upset, because this was the price to pay for having a sibling as a surrogate parent, the price of her having to grow up before her brother. She knew, somewhere deep within her heart, that this day would come eventually, but she wasn't prepared for it. She could never be prepared for it. 

It was no secret that her little brother was...overly fond of her. She recalled those times many years ago when Enishi was much more naive and innocent, boys would ask each other what type of person they'd want to marry. Enishi - without fail - _always_ answered 'I want to marry my sister! She's the best person in the world!' which had garnered sneers, giggles and outright insults from all the other boys, her brother unaware of the implications of that answer. Of course, Enishi now knew the stupidity of such a statement, it even made him embarrassed just to think about it, this she knew. Despite that, he was still incredibly attached to her. More than one might consider normal. 

Could Enishi really be blamed for feeling these things? In her mind, Tomoe had rationalised that it wasn't fair to completely chastise her brother, despite his awful behaviour. It wasn't common for eight-year-olds to face the possibility of losing the affection that their mothers gave them, to face such a hard truth at that age. She wouldn't be cutting anywhere near the amount of slack that she was now if Enishi was a few years older or if they still even had a mother. But...eight? Can an eight-year-old really grasp and understand what was happening? Could someone as young as Enishi really be expected to confront such complicated situations at that age? Or should someone at his age be more independent and aware of such concepts? She didn't know,  _couldn't_ know because their family was far different from a normal family. Being both a sister and a mother was an almost impossible thing, not the least incredibly stressful. Not to mention that Enishi didn't get along with too many people as it is, and she could tell how happy she made him and how he wanted to remain by her side as much as he could. Aside from their father, she had been the only one to show her brother any form of unconditional love, and he had gotten so attached to his sister to the point of possessiveness, the very thought of having to compete for her affections terrified him. The very thought of being alone,  _separate from her_ , propelled him to new heights of sorrow. The very thought of losing her in any way brought out the ugliest side of him, yet it was somehow informed by something as pure as love...it was downright paradoxical. And it made her want to scream. 

Instead, she sighed, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"Enishi...you can be so _stupid_ , sometimes. You've got it all wrong."

"You're leaving me!" He cried out, banging his fist against the carpet.

"Please, let me explain!"

He didn't respond. Not verbally. Instead, he jumped up to his feet and rushed out of the room, stomping furiously. She heard the sonorous slamming of his shoji shortly afterwards.

"Dammit, Enishi." She grumbled, picking the cups up from the table and taking them to the kitchen. She rubbed her forehead thoroughly as she attempted to gather her thoughts at his outrageous outburst. "You can be such a pain at times..."

It used to be enough, she had to admit. Just him and her, it used to be enough to make her happy. Brother and sister, and mother and son simultaneously. It was stressful, difficult, burdensome and commonly infuriating, but Enishi was still enough to make her happy at one time. The unconditional love between them _used_ to be enough. There was no doubt in her mind that Enishi would forever be her darling little brother and she would always love and cherish him, but as she grew older, a new void filled her heart. One that could not be filled by Enishi, nor by any family member. Not even by a friend. It was an entirely different feeling, it was a yearning for something completely different...for companionship, as selfish as it was. Kiyosato Akira made her happy, nothing could convince her otherwise, and despite only being able to stare at him in amazement when he proposed not too long ago, she was truly happy. It was a new type of happiness, entirely different from the happiness she felt with her little brother, but no more or less precious than that. At least to her, her love for Kiyosato and her love for Enishi could not be compared...it was just different. If only her brother could see it that way. What made this all the more disheartening was that Enishi and Akira seemed to get along relatively well.

Of course, she wasn't stupid; marriage would mean change, for her life and for everyone else. It meant that Enishi wouldn't be able to spend as much time with her as he wanted to, something she felt a tiny bit guilty over, but it was for the best. It meant Enishi would have to become more independent from her and begin to find his own way in life. She wasn't too worried, because she wasn't going anywhere, and he still had a father and home, he could grow out of it. She trusted her brother to grow out of his attachment to her...but he  _was_ young, and she was the only mother he ever knew. But were those even good excuses? Is there such thing as a good excuse?  _Could_ Enishi grow out of his attachment so soon? Could he at all? Too many questions, too little time, all because they were slaves to their own emotions. It's odd how that works, isn't it?

Tomoe decided it best to leave Enishi alone for a while, she somehow knew that he didn't particularly want to talk to her about it at the moment. When the time was right, she would talk to him. Not yet, but soon. 

 

*********

 

An hour had passed. Somehow, she knew it was time to confront Enishi again. She felt many things: Fear. Rejection. Anxiety. But all these emotions were bottled up, behind that all-too-familiar stern and neutral look on her face. She was good at that.

She lightly opened the shoji and peaked inside. Enishi was staring at the wall, back facing her. He was slouched over and his palms cupped his chin, he made no noise or movements. He was as still as a rock. Tomoe knelt behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders. He visibly flinched but didn't protest, relaxing somewhat into his big sister's hold. She had that effect on him.

"Are you calm now?" She asked.

"Mmm."

"Can we talk?" 

He nodded before turning to face her. The first thing she noticed was the tear-marks on his face. Before beginning to talk again, she used her hand to wipe those marks off his face. She could swear that the corners of his lips tugged to form a smile, but it was subtle and unannounced. Slightly relieved that he wasn't angry at her anymore, she put her hand back on his shoulder and gazed directly into his gleamy eyes.

"Let's clear some things up, Enishi." 

"Sis..."

"Shh." She hastily put her finger to his lips and, prompting him to stay silent. Her brother nodded somewhat fervently, knowing the possible consequences for not listening to her _yet again_. She took a deep breath before speaking again. "The marriage...Akira and I...things will change, Enishi. I'm sorry, but that's part of growing up. I know you'd like me to be with you forever, but that will never happen. At least, we can never be together in the way we've always been. I won't be disappearing, but our lives will take different courses. As I said, things will change. Do you understand, Enishi?"

He nodded. She continued.

"But don't misconstrue me, Enishi. Akira is not your 'replacement', I will not stop caring about you, I will not stop loving you. You're still my brother. And, you did use to be enough for me to be happy, but I've unfortunatley grown up. I've developed new feelings, as I'm sure you will when you grow up. What you mean to me...is different than what Akira means to me. You're both precious to me. Whatever happens between me and Akira...it can't change what's already between  _us_ , Enishi. You will always be my sweet baby brother, and I will always love and care about you as much as I can...but things _will_ change. Do you understand?"

He nodded. "So he makes you happy, sis?"

"Yes, Enishi." Was all she could muster, as odd as that was.

He began to sob. "It s-should be enough, sis...it should...be e-enough for me to accept this...t-that he makes you happy. But..." He toppled over and forwards, his head resting on her kimono-covered legs. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he buried his face in her warm, inviting lap, expelling more tears and gripping her tightly almost immediately after. And he wasn't just silently whimpering, Enishi was properly sobbing, letting out tortured cries of light anguish and sorrow. Tomoe frowned, but let him release his pent-up fears and woes for a short while, eventually asking an urgent question once he had expelled his worries for a suitable amount of time. 

"But...?" She asked, a curious element in her voice. 

His voice was muffled as he snivelled and wept. "I d-don't...w-want to lose you...like we lost our mother. If I l-lose you, I'll have nothing. I'm scared of losing you, sis. I'm so...s-scared of losing you and I...I hate it. It should be enough b-but..."

It was hideous yet gorgeous, what Enishi felt. Hideous, for it showed the true nature of love and all its jealousy. Hideous, because it proves how much of a slave he was - how  _everyone_ was - to their own emotions at times. Hideous, as it was horribly self-centred and deeply personal, even selfish. Gorgeous, as it exposed the sheer compassion one can feel for another person. Gorgeous, because it came from a place from within, a place filled with complicated emotions and experiences, a place that no one could ever fully understand. Gorgeous, for it was the simple fear of a child, too clingy and afraid to let go of his beloved sister, his loving mother. To Tomoe, it was hideous. It was gorgeous. It was childish. It was so possessive, even _obsessive_ , but oh-so passionate and incredibly naive. It was unbelievably _human_. It was love in its purest yet ugliest form.  

_'It should be enough....'_

It made her ache like nothing else. A pain more intense than a smack to the face, a torturous sensation more troubling than a kick to the guts, a feeling more impactful than the slice of a blade to the bone. For it could not be physically determined, it pooled deep within one's heart, with no conveniently malevolent appearance to take the form of. It was invisible to the human eye but oh-so-real. And whilst all physical wounds can eventually heal, emotional wounds sometimes linger forever, especially if the person in question was still a child when said wound was inflicted. Especially if that child was someone like Enishi. 

' _I'm so scared of losing you and I hate it.'_

It was sincere, as sincere as a child's emotions could be. Life was never fair, especially for their family, especially for her little brother. Especially for  _her_. And yet.

_'It should be enough...'_

She began to stroke his hair softly. He looked up at her, a whimpering and vulnerable mess.

"I'm not going anywhere." She bluntly replied. 

"Don't leave me, please don't leave me. You're the only person I..."

"I understand Enishi, but I'm not going anywhere."

 Enishi gripped her kimono tightly as he went back to weeping in her lap.

"I don't want to be alone..."

She could relate. Loneliness was never a nice thing; despite the fact she didn't like the company of too many people, Tomoe would never want to be alone. Loneliness eats at the soul like the plague, it gnaws on your heart like a snack, it chomps down on your very being. It is an ever-enveloping shroud of darkness, pulling one in deeper and deeper into the depths of sorrow and despair. It wasn't fair, it would never be fair, it _could_   _never_ be fair. Secretly, she knew that life would never be fair for either of them. For her, because of the pressures of being a young woman and being Enishi's guardian. Because of her overwhelming duties that sometimes drove her up the wall. For Enishi, because he could never have the opportunity to grow up like a normal child. Because of their broken family. Deep down, she loathed it, despised the gods - or whatever powers that be - for cursing them with such miserable misfortune. She would never admit that, but fate was cruel to the Yukishiro household in so many ways. She didn't care if her feelings were selfish or immature, it just wasn't fair. 

It wasn't fair.

She tilted his head upwards and warmly held his cheeks.

"You won't truly be alone. I'll always be here for you in any way I can, Enishi. Besides, you still have dad. He cares about you a lot, Enishi."

She was telling the truth, Tomoe knew that dad cared a lot for his own children, even if he wasn't home a lot of the time. He had been recently striding to spend more time with his son, he seemed to know the implications of her daughter marrying someone else. He wasn't a perfect man, but he loved his family. The time they had shared together recently had helped a lot, Enishi had gotten to know his father and warmed up to him more. 

Her brother continued.

"I know but..." he trailed off, unsure of what to say, eventually finding a way to express himself, "I love you so much, sister. It...I think it kinda hurts." 

"I know, Enishi," she brought his head closer to her; his face went to her kimono as she wrapped her arms around him properly, "I know you do. I know it does. I _understand_."

For a few moments, she just held him in her arms. The room was almost uncomfortably silent as Enishi's breathing bounced off his big sister's kimono. Tomoe stroked the back of her little brother's head with her warm hand. Words could not express her feelings properly, but this simple act could. She wanted to convey to Enishi that no matter what changes came to their lives, no matter what happened, her little brother would always hold a special place in her heart, and she would always be fond of him, care about him and worry for him, even when she became a married woman and started a family of her own. Even when she would have to leave the household. Even when their lives would branch off from one another, and they would seek their own happiness and purpose, independent from one another. Nothing could replace that. Nothing could wipe that away. What they shared transcended a brother-sister bond, it was something both beautiful and uneasy. But it was... _something_. 

Love truly is a selfish thing, but paradoxically selfless at the same time. It is simply maddening. 

Enishi leaned backwards to look up to his big sister.

"If he makes you happy...then I guess...I'm happy as well, sis. As long as he truly makes you happy."

"Do you really mean that?" She asked tenderly.

Her brother nodded in response but didn't look her in the eyes. "Yea...I think so..."

"So...you understand?"

"I'm trying to, for you. I think I understand, but I'm still trying."

She placed a warm kiss on his cheek. "Thank you so much for understanding, Enishi...for trying to understand. That...that makes me glad." 

"But I can...I can still see you again, right? When you and Kiyosato get married?"

She gave off a subtle grin. "Don't be so silly, Enishi. Of course, you can. I'd be happy to see you as well."

"Yay!" 

From then on, Enishi learnt to calm down and accept the situation; he begrudgingly and reluctantly came to terms with this inconvenient truth, fully aware of how happy her fiancee made her. Tomoe noticed a subtle improvement in his mood over the next couple of days, being more outgoing and sociable than he was before. Somewhere, in the very corners of his mind, he was slowly coming to terms with what was to happen. Keeping Tomoe's words in mind, he tried to remain positive. It didn't always work out, however, occasionally he would fall into trances of fear and worry, but he knew of the new happiness in her life, so he didn't complain much. After all, he would always love and cherish his big sister, no matter what. And he wanted to protect her happiness like nothing else because she made _him_ so unbelievably happy. Part of her would always appreciate that aspect of him, but sometimes she just wished Enishi was more concerned with himself than her. 

Love is so strange. It's even stranger when the boundaries between mother, son, sister and brother so ruthlessly collide. To both Tomoe and Enishi, it was so confusing at times, so conflicting, so different, it made them afraid. But it was still precious. It was still love. It couldn't be described with something as simple as words, it just  _was_. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking more about Enishi recently, and I've decided that one of the things that surrounds him is 'fear'. Fear of losing his sister to someone else (ie. Akira) and being left alone, fear of his sister losing her life (something that happens), the fear of losing her image's smile (which makes him go mad and lose his confidence) and fear of 'losing' her again in the form of Kaoru putting herself in front of Woo. None of this is helped by his absolutely crippling sister complex. Now that I think about it, his life is informed by this concept of the fear and reality of loss, which just makes him all the sadder.
> 
> I can't blame either Tomoe or Enishi for how he was as a child before the former died. You could make the argument that Tomoe didn't do a particularly good job of raising her brother, but I think that's unfair considering the huge amount of pressure there must be to raise someone from such a young age, not to mention the stress, Enishi must have driven her up the wall plenty of times and part of her must have resented the situation. And Enishi wasn't really an 'evil' kid before his sister died: Despite how Tomoe said he can 'get out of hand' and how he judges people harshly, she didn't seem to think particularly badly about Enishi when she spoke to Kenshin about him ('my sweet little brother', 'he's a good kid'), and I don't see a reason to distrust Tomoe at this point, so Enishi was mainly just highly emotional and a bit unstable as a child. As for Enishi, he was only nine, and I don't think a child can really control how they feel about someone, especially when that certain someone is their beloved mother figure who has looked after them because they have no mother, and seemed to be the only person they got along well with. I pity the fact that he was so obsessed with his sister, it informed many bad decisions and it destroyed him. 
> 
> I could write an entire paper on why Enishi does the things he does (stating 'he's a psychopath lol' is woefully selling him short), but one of the MANY reasons for Enishi's gruesome path is the fact that he was alone with no one to support him in any way on top of being a mere nine-year-old boy and witnessing such a scarring sight in the form of his sister's brutal death. It obviously messed up his mind, his view on the world became tainted - no doubt due to his experiences in the war and in Shanghai, with no good influence - and he was guided by the idea that Tomoe wanted vengeance, as well as his own grudge against Kenshin. Chaos ensues.
> 
> I just don't think Enishi would have ended up the way he did if he grew up normally with his family. Or if he actually listened to his sister and just went home to his father and didn't witness the sight that was distressing enough to turn a nine-year-old's hair completely white; notice he is the only character in the series whose hair turns white from trauma, which is just a huge testament to the extent of his suffering and anguish. This is what Tomoe was banking on I believe, she cared about Enishi's future and wanted him to grow up and be happy in spite of what happened to her (Then again would the Yaminobu have tried to hunt him down because he abandoned the mission? Did they have him under their thumb at that point?). Or, most importantly, if someone was there for him before his experiences with the war and in Shanghai further rotted his soul. 
> 
> I hope I did a good job conveying the idea that whilst Tomoe loves Enishi, her world doesn't revolve around him and she has other wishes and desires, something Enishi is too young to properly grasp.


	14. Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't Cry.

Despite how hard she tried, Tomoe could not stop crying. 

Her mother tried so hard, but she just couldn't keep going. She was never the healthiest of women and childbirth was difficult for her, but no one was prepared for what happened that day. After delivering the newest member of the family to the world, her body gave up. She vanished from the world. Such a tragic and untimely death, to be sure.

Tomoe was sitting in the corner of her room, bawling into her cupped hands. It was odd, she found it so hard to cry normally, yet here she was. She didn't know how she could live on without her mother and father wasn't taking it lightly either; the head of the Yukishiro household had been emotionally absent since then, shook to the core by his wife's passing. 'A tragedy' was what the neighbours called it, 'Such a shame' was what the people around them muttered. The occasional murmur of how a lovely woman she was made itself known. Their love for each other was well known by many, and it was painful to see a grown man reduced to tears and depression in such a manner.

It was normal for her, or so she was told. A little girl crying over the death of her mother? Nothing wrong with that. But with her father a wreck, she had no one else to turn to at this time. She felt utterly alone now...what was left?

A high-pitched crying noise suddenly emerged. Or rather, it had been ringing throughout the room for a while, it was only  _now_  she began to properly acknowledge it.

Of course, Tomoe had completely forgotten...her mother had left behind someone. A little baby boy, a  _brother_. She recalled how excited she was before her mother delivered him, how...happy she was that she was getting a little baby brother or sister. It was true that her wish came to be, but she was terribly distracted by a far more dire matter. The newborn child was sharing her room, wrapped in a blanket in a basket on top of her futon. Supposedly, the poor kid was pining away for his mother as well; Tomoe couldn't even begin to guess the pain he was going through at this time. He was longing for a connection he could never truly have, the wailing kept going on and on, it was scathing to her ears and upsetting her even more. She had to stop it.  _Somehow_. 

After some newly found resolve, she crawled over to where her newly born brother was; she towered over the basket as she gently scooped up the bundle of blankets in her arms, beginning to cradle and rock the small child.

"Uh...hi..."

His wailing and weeping began to lessen, he promptly calmed down as he was held in the warm grip of his older sister. He turned his chubby face to look up at his newly found carer and exhibited some emerging calm and peace as he examined his big sister's features. 

"Mmmmmm...mmmmm..." he pined away, "mmmmm...maaaaaaaa..."

"Uhhh...shhh," she soothingly whispered, simultaneously shedding a tear of her own, "I'm here now, it'll be okay. Please don't cry."

_I'm...I'm holding a new life...in my arms. I'm holding my baby brother in my arms. This feels strange._

Tomoe thought her new brother was adorable, he had a black streak of hair that was the same colour as her own, his eye colour was her own as well. His face as a whole was very puffy, yet he felt much lighter than he probably should have. The rest of his body was wrapped up in blankets, but he looked so incredibly peaceful as he found rest in her arms.

"Shh. I'm your big sister, get it? Big sister. Don't worry, I'll take care of you. It'll be okay, it'll all be okay...please don't cry, alright?"

_Uh...what should I do? Should I...? What would mother do...?_

She raised her baby brother to rest his head against the bridge between her neck and shoulders as she held him tightly - but not too tight - for comfort. The pain of losing their mother would never disappear, but she was helping him to combat it somewhat. However, she was no mother, so her instincts were, understandably,  _very_  sloppy when it came to children. Eventually, she decided to sing her baby brother one of her favourite lullabies, one which their mother had commonly sung to her to help her sleep. It must have been working because he grinned and extended a tiny arm from the blankets to hold onto her kimono. She retreated back into her corner, brother-in-tow. Her back leaned against the wall as she slumped down and kept clinging to the baby with her loving grasp. He was indescribably warm against her, she felt... _something_  again. Tomoe was unsure of what it was, a connection? A bond? 

Tomoe only now realized how unfair it was to her little brother, how his mother had been taken from both of them in one fellow swoop. She could never blame him, it's not like he intended to kill mother, but there was something incredibly tragic about the whole scenario. Months ago, if someone were to ask her if she would trade her mother for a brother, she wouldn't know how to react at such a shocking suggestion...how would life resume without her? She understood that she would have to tell her brother of their mother's fate one day...and that he would most likely blame himself for her death. She was beginning to wonder if the normal sibling relationship she secretly longed for was even possible now. Perhaps not. But maybe it would be best to take care of him the same way mother would, or at least, that's what she thought. 

She was trying to recall what the boy's planned name was; no official naming ceremony had been carried out yet, but she thought that maybe she had a good idea of what they wanted to name him. 

_Uhh...what was his name again? I...I can't remember properly._

Her brother shifted, prompting his sister to look down on him once more, bring him slightly closer and softly massaging the top of his head.

"Shh.  When you wake up, I'll still be here. For now, get some rest."

He reached out lazily and grasped a strand of her own raven-black hair, before sighing and finding himself in a blissful slumber. 

 

*****

 

"Come on, Tomoe," a young and fiery Kiyosato Akira called out, "let's go!"

"Yes, in a minute, let me sort out my brother first."

He was still young; the boy still didn't know how to walk. She had tried to ease him into it, but always ended with Enishi landed squarely on his bottom, staring at his big sister blankly before giggling like a little maniac. It was cute. But sometimes, her brother was a nightmare, constantly demanding her attention. She couldn't blame her brother, he was still so young, but it was draining her. Remembering the quasi-promise she made to her mother, Tomoe put up with everything still. Besides, he was a cute boy, and she did like him.

Tomoe excused herself and found herself in her room, where Enishi was sitting on the futon, mumbling to himself in incoherent gibberish about...something. He only knew a few words, anyway. His hair had grown somewhat and it was most definitely the same colour as her own, it starkly stood on his head and was even rather spiky. Tough he was still so young, he was beginning to resemble her somewhat, and he had exactly the same eye colour...

An excited grin found itself on his face as he extended his arms out to Tomoe. 

Considering he was too big to be carried in her arms for long periods of time - after all, she was only a child herself - Tomoe opted to strap her baby brother on her back. She called him over to where she was standing, and Enishi presumed to crawl on all fours over to his big sister, arriving by her feet and looking up to her, bewildered and excited. After picking him up and placing him in the saddle on her kimono, she could feel his chubby hands on her narrow shoulders, he nuzzled the back of her neck and hair, goosebumps appeared all over her skin as he breathed softly against her skin.  

"Don't." She bluntly commanded. Obedient to his big sister, he stopped.

Enishi safe on her back, she returned to her dear friend. This was the first time he would see her brother, and she hoped to the gods that Enishi behaved himself...but she was prepared for the worst. As she went back to the entrance, a beaming Akira took a gander at her sweet little brother.

"Oh, he's so cute, just as ever Tomoe!" 

Half-ignoring his comment, Tomoe lowered herself down to his position so they were eye-to-eye.

"Um...say hi to Akira, Enishi."

Instead of properly greeting her childhood friend, Enishi stuck his tongue out at Akira. The older boy laughed and simply patted her brother's head.

"He's such a treasure, Tomoe..."

"Boo!" Enishi screamed, attempting to hide behind his sister's back.

She was expecting worse. She sighed out of relief.

"Um...this is for you..." Akira stated nervously, pulling a violent pinwheel from behind his back. Tomoe gracefully accepted the gift from her friend, it spun round and round on that cool afternoon. It was a wonderful gift for a young girl such as her, but she had personally no idea what to do with it. Tomoe then suddenly decided to hand the pinwheel to her little brother, who was amazed by how it spun and flew. He gasped and giggled like a madman, watching the pinwheel spin and spin in the cool wind. Her friend laughed along, but she couldn't even muster a smile. Akira understood, he moved a step closer to her and took hold of her hand.

"Let's go, already!"

Tomoe nodded nervously. "Mhm..."

Her brother suddenly put his arms around her shoulders, but they were too short to join below her neck. Her arm occasionally wandered to her back to make sure her brother was still there, and he always was, blissfully daydreaming or mumbling to himself about something. Akira kept turning to take a gander at her and her brother, he always had that silly and heartwarming grin, it seemed he was never in a foul mood. Her brother was quite happy and upbeat, even her father had moved on somewhat from their mother's death and allowed himself to remain relatively positive...she thought herself to be so heartless...

"What's wrong, Tomoe," Akira asked as they walked, dropping his smile and giving her a concerned frown, his tone taking a more serious tone, "are you still upset about your mother?"

"A bit...it still feels so wrong without her..." she looked down to the ground and tilted her head to the side thoughtfully, "but I have to be strong, for my brother." 

Akira stopped in his tracks, putting his hand on his friend's shoulder to prompt her to stop. She looked up at him, raising an eyebrow at what he had done. Akira sighed.

"You know...it's only natural for you to be stressed..." he looked up to her brother, who kept glaring at the pinwheel, "...kids don't usually look after their siblings like you do..."

"I know..."

"But you do such a great job! I mean look at him! He's so...adorable!"

Her lips tugged to form a sincere smile. "I've been trying to teach him how to walk...it...it's pretty funny sometimes."

"Um...do you give him baths?"

"Huh?"

"Baths," Akira replied nervously, "do you give your brother baths?"

"Um...yes..."

"Ooohhh....um, I haven't asked before...but...considering he had no mother...um...what did he  _eat_?"

Tomoe knew what he meant. She blushed somewhat before answering his question.

"...Um...we usually just gave him normal milk...?"

"Ohhh...you didn't get a maid? Orrr...?"

"...We don't really have the money for that..."

"Argh, okay!" Akira raised his hands as if here were being arrested for some heinous crime. "I won't press anymore!"

Riotous laughter abrupted from Enishi. Tomoe merely sighed. She reached behind to pat her brother's head and he quickly calmed down, sighing into the back of her neck and softly pulling on strands of her hair. 

"Aww look at him Tomoe," her friend cooed, a soft gleam in his eyes, "he loves you so much!" He gawked at the way he repeatedly cooed and sighed as he played with her hair. "Uh...maybe a little  _too_ much?"

"If only father wasn't so busy, then maybe he could spend more time with Enishi...and I could spend more time with you and my other friends..."

"Tomoe! You don't have to isolate yourself just because you're looking after him! You can bring him along all the time, honestly, I don't mind!"

"You're too kind..."

"Ehh? Ehhhh?!" Enishi asked out of the blue, lightly tugging on his sister's hair as he frantically looked around and they continued to walk on, realizing he was no longer in the safety of his own home. He was slow to catch on.

His sister cleared her throat. "We're just...going for a walk."

And so, they did. The three of them navigated the confusing and jumbled streets of Edo, yet their child-like minds had developed an acute understanding of their route and walked around almost as if they were on some kind of autopilot. Enishi remained safely on his sister's back, clinging to her shoulders and continuously shifting his head around. The streets of Edo were relatively new to him, and it was exciting. Before they knew it, they were already outside the house again, their usual root finished. Tomoe could hear Enishi's almost-exaggerated yawns and sighs, he was getting sleepy. She turned to Kiyosato and gave a respectful bow.

"Um...thank you...I'll see you soon."

And before she knew, she - and by extent, her baby brother - were pulled into an overwhelming hug by her friend. She was so reserved yet he was so ready to display his affection. Tomoe weakly wrapped her own arms around him for a brief moment whilst Enishi emitted confused hums before Akira let go, his cheeks turning rosy red.

"Um....until next time!"

He turned a full one hundred and eighty degrees before sprinting off, following the narrow streets back to his own house. Tomoe turned and opened the gates and took her brother inside, taking him to her box of a room. She unfastened the straps and the sling came loose before she extended her arms behind her and took a hold of Enishi by his waist, carefully lowering him to the ground and quickly turning to face him. He grinned innocently at his big sister while he sat there. She scooped him up in her arms, holding him close to her chest. His smile faded away as he rested his tiny head against his sister's warm and inviting bosom, Tomoe went to stroke the batch of hair on his tiny head. He was so small and warm and soft and even comfy.

"Ne..." he whispered, tugging on her kimono gently. She nuzzled the top of his head and he cooed and sighed warmly, snuggling closer to his sister and closing his eyes. "Aaaaaa..."

"Enishi..." she began to bounce him carefully on her lap, "you're so lazy."

"Aaaaahhh..." Enishi leaned upwards and buried his face in her collarbone, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and neck. He found it so unfathomably difficult to part with her in any way, he just liked her company too much. His name seemed to be so fitting - fate, connection, the everlasting bond between two people. His name was a cruel form of poetry...she thought maybe her mother was laughing fondly from the afterlife at this unexpected scenario. She'd laugh too if her departure hadn't left such a void in the family. 

She closed her eyes, all she could feel - cared to feel - was her brother's breathing. She rubbed his back tenderly with her frail hands. 

"Coo!" Enishi barked, bringing his sister out of deep thought by rubbing his nose against her cheek. It tickled. Tomoe gave in at that point, quickly lowering herself to lie on her back and taking her little brother with her. Enishi yelped and held her kimono tightly before calming down after confirming his own safety. Tomoe grabbed her brother by the waist and lifted him in the air. He was heavy. Enishi giggled and chuckled as he glided in the air, looking down at his big sister with extreme content as his arms and legs waved frantically in the air, he just  _could not_ stop smiling at her.

So she managed to return a smile. 

"Wee!" Her little brother yelped, trying to reach down to touch his precious sister's dark hair. Oh, but Tomoe was having none of that, so she jolted him even more, he soared through the air above her like a bird on watch for its prey. He continuously cackled and grinned as she found some pleasure in entertaining her brother like this. Why did it feel so nice? After a few more moments of care-free play, she lowered him back to her chest, his own face and body facing the ceiling above him. She brought her arms around him and held onto him tightly, he snuggled into her grasp and closed his eyes...and...

A figure stood in the open doorframe, Tomoe noticed this in the corner of her eye and found herself in an upright position, holding Enishi to her chest and quickly turning to face the figure. It was their father.

"Having fun with the baby?" He asked teasingly, accompanied by a wide grin.

His daughter nodded. "Yea..."

He walked over to his children and patted his daughter's head lightly, before taking his son from her arms and bringing him close. Enishi reached out for want of the company of his sister at first, before looking up to his father's affectionate gaze and resting his head against him and quickly falling asleep. 

"I'll tuck him into bed," their father continued, letting out a slight chuckle, "he seems a bit tired." 

Tomoe couldn't help but notice the slight hint of sadness in all of his actions.

He left the room, but she followed suit as he took him to a small box of a room that led directly to the engawa of the house; their father rested his head on a conveniently placed pillow and brought a white blanket around his sleeping form. As he rose to his feet and left the room, Tomoe opened the shoji to let some good sunshine fill the room with its beams of light. Enishi's face lit up with the sun's bright glory, he tugged a smile in his sleep as he sunk into the pillow his small head rested on. Soft grunts escaped his mouth as he slept, prompting Tomoe to crawl over to her little brother's side, tracing his cheek with her pale finger. For some reason, she didn't want to leave his side. 

She originally thought her brother's name to be some form of cruel and twisted irony...but she was beginning to understand it now...at least she thought it was. With no mother, fate would have it that Enishi chose  _her_ that day, she couldn't shake the feeling that their bond was going to be deeper than that of a normal bond between brother and sister, even with their situation taken into consideration. An unusual name - especially in this day and age, for it was such an ancient phrase - but he would take it in stride. 

_I'll turn him into a fine young man...just give me some time, mother. I'll carry him on my back until he no longer needs to walk. I'll teach him how to read, how to write and how to behave. I'll give him the love and care he needs until he requires it no more, I'll look after him until he can fend for himself and until I am needed by my husband. Leave him to us, mother, me and father can take care of him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to explore the time following their mother's death, and how Tomoe got along with Enishi at that time. It must have been a sad time. The mental image of Enishi calling out to his mama whilst his sister and father grieve is just...really fucking sad. I can...kinda see why he clung to Tomoe so much, she was there for him when no one else was.
> 
> I always imagined Kiyosato Akira being a really lovely person for some reason, someone really positive in childhood and someone who was just really kind as an adult; I know it's (kinda?) popular to paint Enishi and Akira as rivals of sorts, but I can personally imagine them getting along pretty well even though Enishi didn't take the announcement of his sister's engagement too well. It was never said Enishi hated Akira. We know nothing about their relationship anyway...but maybe he'd be a big brother figure or something? Um, that's the impression I got from him, considering he exists literally to get killed off in the original story and thus we see practically nothing of him. I'd like to flesh out his character more.
> 
> And now, it's time for my heart to burst: Writing Enishi as a baby is...SUPER ADORABLE. AAAAA OH MY GOD, can he just be a baby forever??? Please??? Can he please not turn evil and just stay like this??? I'm writing him a bit like Kenji I guess.
> 
> Uhh not sure what Tomoe would use to carry Enishi on her back. A babby saddle? Please bear with me I'm not an expert on methods of baby transportation during the late Tokugawa period. I would've added a line that said something like, 'little did Tomoe know that her brother would turn out to be a fucking nightmare' but I think that's a bit too meta lmao.


	15. Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The threads of fate are tightly bound.

**Evening:**

It was a particularly cool winter evening - the sun had already vanished below the earth, its nightly lover taking its nightly duties - as Yukishiro Tomoe calmly yet expertly practised an ancient and traditional activity for all women - sewing. The sound of snow falling rapidly rung against her ears, her eyes were subjected to the wrath of the dim light that shot out from the numerous candles placed around the room. A thin white blanket covered her upper body, which blended perfectly with her already snow-white kimono and even her pale skin, it was snow on top of snow. She was no older than fifteen, a prime and mature age for sure, but no marriage arrangements had been made yet. It was just as well because she didn't want to leave quite yet, though she knew her father was getting rather anxious.

Her hands conjoined to perform one of the most sacred yet calming dances in existence; her left holding on to the silken fabric whilst her right moved in-and-out over and over again, needle and fabric in tow, combining and transforming to convert single strands of weaving material into something much more tangible. She didn't know why she found sewing so relaxing, so enjoyable...it was known to be a popular pass-time for many women, but she found it particularly pleasing. Perhaps it was the quietness. Perhaps it was the alone time, something she was getting less and less of as she grew older and wiser. Not that it was anyone's fault in particular, but growing up had its cons.

 

Step. Someone was coming. Step. The door slowly slid open. Step. The footsteps were light, but still there. Step. She knew exactly who it was. It was to be expected, so much for that alone time.

"Enishi, darling, are you done with father?" She asked, hushed yet somehow clear. 

"Dad said I could go," the person replied, "can I um...spend some time with you, please?"

"It's not that I mind, but...sewing isn't an interesting thing, Enishi. Not for boys like you." She turned to look at him completely, he leaned against the doorframe and covered his mouth with his closed fist, as if he was nervous or unwilling to admit something. Much like her, he wore his own white kimono, wearing that colour was a running theme in the family, it seemed. Usually, he would adorn stark-black hakama, the same colour as his hair, but he wasn't on that particular night. It was clear that he had no intentions of leaving the house at that point. 

"B-but I haven't seen you all day, sis..." He replied, looking down at his feet, deliberately avoiding her gaze as his cheeks went light red. Tomoe raised her eyebrow as she looked at him, wondering why he was being so shy. 

The poor lad was only six. A very young age, that is true. Life seemed to have it out for him: his mother and consequently Tomoe's taken away after childbirth, his nurturing being put into the hands of a much more inexperienced parent in the form of his older sibling and all the incessant bullying he had put up with for  _daring_  to cherish his sister so much - beyond that of a normal sibling. She pitied him in many ways, but she pitied herself somewhat as well, for they were both robbed of their mother so ruthlessly and the bonds they made together were not those of normal siblings, something she had always secretly wished for. Her brother was a constant reminder of the life they could never have, the relationship that could never exist and the journey they could never experience. It meant she had to mature much quicker. It meant he loved her as a mother and as a sister, double-fold. It meant she was doubly responsible for his own safety, more than a typical older sibling. It meant odd looks and outright hostility towards him. He couldn't help it, he couldn't help how he felt about his own sister, especially at six. It wasn't fair, it never was. She made him happy and that was the important thing. Wasn't it?

"So you're perfectly fine with watching me sew, then?"

"Mhm! I just wanna spend time with you..."

Her head shook. "You never change, do you?" Alright then, come over here." 

The boy tiptoed over to his dearest big sister, it had been a long day and she could tell he was so happy to be with her. He lowered himself beside her and wrapped his arm around her torso before leaning into her for warmth and comfort, humming calmly to himself in the process. Tomoe then brought the blanket over so it covered both of them, it was pretty chilly, after all. Her brother's eyes were fixated on her hands as she continued to weave and sew together those silky threads, they followed every intricate motion, every subtle gesture, every unannounced flick of the wrist. She was the performing troop and he was the audience, a seemingly entertained audience at that. But it was far more than that, but something incredibly simple at the same time. It was just a boy appreciating the ways in which his sister kept herself busy. She thought it surprisingly intimate.

"Did father go out again?" Tomoe asked with a tender tone. 

"Yea, he said something about meeting one of his friends. 'Important business', he said." 

"He'll probably be home late then," she pulled the needle through the fabric, "he usually is when he meets his friends." 

"So it...it's just us again?" 

"Yes, I suppose..."

"What does he mean by 'important business', sis?"

"Oh, uh....um...f-father is needed by some very important people so he can help keep order." She paused, for she struggled to find a way to continue the conversation. She instead resorted to one of the most basic of questions she could ask at that time. "What did you and father get up to, exactly? He never told me."

"We went to town. He went to visit some very important people a-and...he took me with him everywhere. People kept calling me cute." At that, he pouted. His sister freed her right hand of the needle - placing it in her left - and patted the top of his head whilst looking down at him. 

"You  _are_  a cute boy, though. Father is so proud of you, did you know that?"

"He had to get some stuff and I helped him carry it all as well. Paper and brushes and ink and stuff...it made me tired, sis. All that stuff was really heavy."

"I know it's tiring, but dad really does appreciate it. He keeps telling me how he needs to spend more time with you, so please appreciate his efforts, Enishi. He cares about you...but he's a very busy man unfortunatley."

"I know..." He further snuggled into his sister, sighing from relief and comfort whilst closing his eyes. "A-and...I did have a good day...I guess. But I'm just glad to be with you now because I missed you today."

"Well, I'm here now." She untangled her hand from his messy hair and continued to carry out that maidenly dance with her hands, precise and elegant in presentation.

"Hey...what did you do today?" 

"Hm? My day couldn't be interesting to you at all, Enishi."

"N-no, sis, not at all. You're the most interesting person in the world!"

She wondered how much he meant that...she wasn't interesting, was she? She was just a young woman, trying to keep a household together, trying to build a home. And she was currently  _sewing_ , that couldn't possibly be interesting, could it? She thought her brother slightly crazy, but the remark warmed her chilled heart slightly. She sighed languidly, continuing to weave those silken threads together. 

"Well...when you and father left, I stayed behind and cleaned around the house. A friend came over to visit during the day. We talked for awhile...she asked how you were doing in fact. I told her you were doing just fine and that you're in good health. Speaking of which...I need your help, you're not doing anything else tomorrow are you?"

"N-no..." He answered back, sounding somewhat hesitant. No matter how much a child wanted to spend time with their loved ones, absolutely  _no one_ his age was thrilled by the prospect of doing chores. Even if they got a little bit of pocket money from it.

"It's going to be quite a bit of work. We have laundry to do, rooms to clean, and did I even mention the cooking? I'd like you to help me prepare dinner, father told me that we're having guests over and it's going to be a lot of work on my own. That also means I expect you to be on your best behaviour...do you understand, Enishi?"

She heard her little brother grumble slightly before he opened his mouth. "Fine." 

"Good boy." 

"Sis, your perfume smells so nice," he sighed, changing the topic abruptly, "it makes me feel so calm and warm on the inside. I want to wear some when I'm older!" 

_That_ particular statement made her want her to giggle, the mental image of her little brother adorned in one of her own luxurious kimonos and wearing white plum perfume was completely ludicrous and absolutely hilarious. She freed her right hand yet again and wrapped her arm around him. It wasn't quite the alone time she liked to indulge in, but this wasn't so bad. Her brother never failed to entertain her.

"Boys don't wear perfume, Enishi." 

"Huh? Why not, sis?!" He asked, genuinely confused by her statement. Her brother wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. 

"Because...it's a girl's thing, Enishi. Only girls wear perfume. Like me."

"Then what do boys wear instead of perfume, sis?"

"...Nothing? Have you ever seen father wear anything  _like_ perfume, Enishi?" 

He remained silent, obviously defeated by her own rhetoric. She let go of him and continued with her sewing, and he continued to watch her every moment, seemingly entranced by that most basic of activities. She was casting a spell, and he was being hypnotized over and over again by her elegance, her swift yet graceful motions, her finesse and accuracy, her unkempt power put into practice. He was secretly admiring the strength of all women. 

"Hey," he inquired, "what are you even making? A new kimono? Don't you already have a few purple kimonos?"

"No, I'm not making a kimono. There's not enough silk and I'm not skilled enough yet."

"Then what are you making, sis?" 

"A shawl. It's gotten very cold this winter and I thought I'd make one myself rather than buy one. I need some practice." 

"How long will it take?"

"A few days, if I'm lucky. A week at the most. I only just started tonight, so there's not much to show for my efforts."  

"Hey...do you think you could make me a kimono at some point? Once you get really good at it?" 

She stopped sewing those threads together and looked down at her brother, a confused look on her face. "Why me?"

Enishi's cheeks flushed and he shamefully looked down to the floor. "Because...I think you'd be really good at it. And...I'd really like something made by you...I think it'd be nice."

"We'll see, Enishi. Maybe I can make you something nice once I get better at this."

"Thanks." He replied, leaning further into his sister; he brought his other arm around her and rested his head on the very edge of her lap, yawning lethargically as she continued to weave. 

"So, you  _are_ tired," she uttered meaningfully, "did you even sleep enough last night?"

"Uh...mmm...I think I woke up in the middle of the night," Enishi answered, yawning once again, "but I guess you're just really comfy too. I'm not distracting you, am I?" 

"It's fine."

And she was being truthful, her brother's antics did nothing to distract her from her occupation; Tomoe didn't stop weaving those threads of fate, as her little brother found comfort in snuggling up against his sister's lap. She really didn't mind, he wasn't hurting anyone and he extracted great comfort out of it. He gripped onto her kimono ever-so-slightly, as he turned his head to look back up at her, to continue watching her song of silks, that dance of threads and weaving. 

"I don't want anything to change, sister."

"Huh?"

"I can be happy forever, as long as I'm always with you." 

Tomoe physically put her sewing supplies to the side and looked down at her brother; he was resting peacefully on her lap, but she looked at him awkwardly. His statement - whilst completely innocent - was concerning...he had no idea, did he? But was he too young to know the dire truth? Should she tell him what he will have to learn eventually right now? Or should she let it slide and continue on with her nightly activity? His big sister oped to stroke his hair calmly. He blinked rapidly as her toasty fingers coursed through the strands of his spiky, unkempt mane. An indescribable gleam inhabited his eyes as she played with his hair, it was downright mystical. He was no longer smiling, instead, he bore quite a neutral expression, not unlike one his big sister wore at almost all times, one his big sister was also wearing at that time.

"Uh...sister...?"

She struggled to find the right words; Tomoe didn't know whether to let him down gently or just tell him the cold, hard truth. But he was only  _six_ , and quite frankly, he had every right to be attached to her at such a young age. But...this just wasn't fair. She knew she would most likely be leaving the household, it was only a matter of time...perhaps a couple years. How would he cope without her?  _Could_  he cope? She hadn't prepared him for a life without her yet. 

"Nothing lasts forever." Was all that she could muster. Vague, yet it carried her point. Her brother grunted out of confusion before letting out a laugh, finding his sister's bluntness somewhat humouring. 

"You're so funny, sis!"

"Perhaps." She paused for a moment, as a sudden realization hit her. "You haven't eaten dinner, have you?"

"Huh? Oh...no..."

"You must be very hungry."

"Oh...uh, yea I'm a bit hungry, sis."

"Would you like some soup? I made some earlier and it's easy to heat up again."

"Oh, yes please!" 

 

*********

 

By the fireplace they sat, as Tomoe resumed her womanly pass-time, using thread on top of thread to create something useful. Her younger brother sat by her side, a ceramic bowl of warm soup in his hands, all made with love. He drank from the boll periodically, as he seemed to savour every last drop of the soup she had delicately prepared. Clearly, he was loving it. He wore a pleased grin on his face as his cheeks flushed ever-so-slightly, most likely due to the sizzling fire. The intense scent of her own perfume engulfed the room as they went on with their activities.

"How do you make food this good, sis?" Her brother asked, innocent yet sincere in delivery, gulping down that soup so gracefully, savouring the taste.

"Uhh...hm...intuition? mother taught me some secrets but I mostly learned from our neighbours, Enishi." She didn't think much of her own cooking - after all, who would be so vain as to praise their own culinary skills? - but her little brother sure did love her meals. According to him, she was the best cook ever. Not that he knew the taste of any other cook really, but she knew it was mostly due to the fact that she had prepared it. 

"Can you teach me how to cook like this one day?!"

_First, it's the perfume,_  Tomoe thought,  _and now you want to cook? Where did dad and I go wrong with raising you, Enishi?_ _This isn't how a boy should be...is it?_

Nobody said her thoughts were always dead-serious. She could amuse herself. 

Tomoe brought herself out of her stupendous trance of self-reflection and cleared her throat. "When you're a bit older...I think six is a bit too young to want to be the Shogun's personal cook, Enishi. Don't you think?" 

Her little brother giggled uncontrollably at what she thought was a rather pathetic attempt at humour. The fact he found her joke genuinely funny mustered a sincere yet unannounced smile from her. Her smiles - as uncommon as they were - were adored by her little brother. Whenever she smiled, he gave off a smile worth a million smiles. She didn't really know what mysterious quality she possessed that made her brother so giddy and joyful around her...but it could only be a good thing, right? 

"You're so funny!" He finally blurted out, accidentally spilling a smidgen of soup on his chin as he shook with laughter. 

"Oh, Enishi..." she frowned, "you've spilt soup on your chin. I wish you weren't so clumsy." 

"Oh, uh...s-sorry." 

His big sister leaned over to him, extending out her free hand to wipe his chin thoroughly before patting his head gently and going back to her sewing. He went back to gulping down the soup she had prepared, keeping an eye on her weaving. It seemed like her every move enthralled him. He emptied the bowl of its contents and placed it at his side, respectfully bowing and giving thanks for the meal before his drowsiness overtook him yet again; Enishi yawned and leaned on his side, to which Tomoe instinctively stood and wandered over to him.

"Hey, I think you should go to bed if you're this tired." Tomoe used her hand to move a strand of her own hair, her brother looked up to his big sister, his eyes were half-shut and he covered his mouth with his hand for a yawn.

"...Alright, fine."

She reached down to grasp his hand softly, he rose to his feet and she promptly escorted her brother to his room, picking up one of the candles in the process. Upon arrival, she slid the door open and went to lay out his futon whilst Enishi went into the corner - away from her gaze - and slipped out of his kimono, putting on a thick sleeping robe in its place. After fastening it together, he turned and walked towards the newly laid-out futon. His big sister shifted to give him space to climb into bed. He pulled the quilt over himself and it travelled to just below his chin.

He was quite short.

"It's alright," she put her palm to his forehead, "I'll stay here for a while."

Her brother nodded gleefully and shut his eyes as his face reset to a neutral expression. That boy looked so incredibly peaceful when he slept, it was like night and day compared to the wild antics he was known for. It was times like these where Tomoe remembered why she put up with all of his nonsense...she had to admit that part of her loved him  _because_ of his flaws, not in spite of them. He was only six but: Bad manners, unnecessary shouting ( _especially_ in the morning...), sheer clumsiness and pure indifference to most people. Yet, he loved all things to do with his only sister, she was sure that he would go to the ends of the earth for her. All she needed to do was ask.

But she wouldn't. She just wanted her brother to grow up quickly and lead a good and happy life...separate from her someday. 

She rose to her feet and went for a chest in the corner of the room, she flung it open and reached inside for a neatly folded blanket, taking it out and walking back over to Enishi. Tomoe knelt by his side once again and placed the blanket over his resting form. He mumbled something incoherent in his sleep; Enishi's nose scrunched up but he quickly returned to his peaceful state. The flicker of candlelight illuminated his peaceful features, his slightly-agape mouth, his almost-silent breathing and his plump nose. She was certain he had found sleep by now, and he was certainly a  _very_ heavy sleeper, but Tomoe found it physically difficult to withdraw from his room...for some reason. 

She heard him mutter something that would be incomprehensible to most, but was so distinct to her:

" _Mmmm...love you_."

She sometimes forgot he was her brother. 

"Good night," she said softly, "love you too." 

_Mother_ , she thought,  _if only you could see him now, your sweet little son. He's so cute._

Tomoe brushed a strand of his hair to the side.

_...I still think you could have given him a better childhood than I ever could..._

No response, as expected.

_He doesn't say it, but...ever since I told him about how you died...he's been drowning in guilt. He thinks he stole you from us, and..._  she gripped her kimono skirt tightly,  _well...he can't let go of me. It's not his fault, he's so young, but...I'm afraid he's clinging to me too much..._

She looked down at her brother's sleeping form again and her lips managed to tug a sincere and tender smile.

_I see so much of you in him, mother. He's just like you when he's around me, always so carefree and high-spirited. If only I were like you...I'm so heartless sometimes...I'm so worried about him, though. He's very emotional and gets upset easily, he's quick to judge and...and...but he can be a good boy when he puts his mind to it..._

She suddenly shook her head and leaned over to give Enishi a warm and lingering kiss on the forehead before rising to her feet, quietly closing the door behind her as she left his room. She returned to the fireplace and resumed with her sewing for the rest of the evening, but she herself felt rather tired too. She would join her brother in the dreaming world soon.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not too sure what exactly prompted me to write this one...I just wanted to portray a peaceful winter evening. Their family supposedly lead a happy and peaceful life so I kinda wanted to portray that. Did it work?
> 
> I really want to write a piece with the two of them and their father eating dinner, actually. Then otou-san gives Enishi some sake and...whew things will get wild. I actually want to do this now, brb.


End file.
